After Seven Winters And Springs

Respect

'I empathize with Namjoon and his struggles as leader. Bringing different people together is Namjoon's strength.'

Kim Namjoon likes to pin himself as an observer. He's not particularly someone who's always on a look out, it's something more of an unintentional thing. Some people easily catch minute differences in the atmosphere especially if they are completely thorough with their environment and with the people around. That's where his observation skills comes into light. The rearrangement of his art pieces, the relocation of his pre debut photo frame from the side table to one of the shelves or how it's easy to realise that someone messed up with his toiletries.

Namjoon does take pride in himself for differentiating between usual and unusual. That always works for him in a positive way as it is much easier to detect the changes in the behaviour of his fellow members or the staff. It makes the work less complicated and somehow strengthens his leadership qualities. So he measures the variations and works according to that, something he learned from working with a team, his group.

As a leader and as a brother Namjoon's completely aware of his group members habits. The spectrum of all the different behaviours is clearly defined in his head. He can detect the changes and he knows what to do. Giving people space is the second best thing, and telling them it's okay to feel low is first. This is how it always goes, Earth rotates and bring something new to him every day. However he's always prepared.

Namjoon also knows that nobody's perfect, and he's definitely not the one to regret things but he knows he made a mistake here, a big mistake. He feels almost guilty for not understanding or realising it before. Maybe he's just witnessing the biggest periodic imbalance of all the time.

It's fairly simple. He begins his day with a bitter coffee and head up to the studios for their new album. It's just a plain schedule with him and Yoongi, working for a new rap song for their album. The song itself is upbeat and fun, something totally unexpected from both of them but still something they already saw coming. Namjoon's having trouble with some lyrics and it's pretty common but at the same time frustrating as he really want this album to be perfect and it's the first ever time for both Yoongi and him to appear on a track together without the other members. They've both worked together so much in the past that the atmosphere is all too familiar to them.

Something is strange and Namjoon can feel it in the way Yoongi is looking at him with a little smile plastered on his face. Smiling isn't bad except the fact that nothing good happens in the early morning and it's just downright concerning to see Yoongi smiling like that at six a.m. The smell of the coffee is just too strong at this point and their eyes are just too heavy to crinkle in the morning . So they work together on the lyrics and at this point he himself can't hide the grin on his face by seeing his Yoongi Hyung this happy in the morning. The older is not exactly sparkling instead it's just this some kind of satisfaction on his face that Namjoon can't get a hint of, but happiness does look good on his Hyung's face even at the unusual hours of the day.

"You remember this?" Yoongi gives his phone to Namjoon with expectant eyes and the younger just tries to look closely at the screen with screwed up eyes as their studio is filled with dim light. Namjoon realises it's one of their pre debut photo. It's just both of them in their first ever studio situated in their old company building. It's almost comical how Namjoon have this exact picture of them in his phone. The photo itself is enough to make him snort as someone probably captured it just after they had an argument as it is evident from the scowl on their faces . It's beyond belief how young and tensed they looked back then. "Just when I wanted to forget my old hairstyles." Namjoon huffed mockingly. "I think it's okay." Yoongi replies back instantly still looking at the photo in his phone. It's just two of them in the studio now and as per the schedule they both should be heading for breakfast but there was something different in Yoongi's demeanour. The older almost looks embarrassed.

Namjoon focuses on the lyrics sheet in front of him giving Yoongi his space. He doesn't want to force his Hyung to open up. In the decade long of their friendship and teamwork he just knows the older will continue when he's comfortable and he can wait as long as his hyung wants. Few seconds pass and they are just standing beside each other when he feel the other's little fingers brushing his thumb.

Namjoon glances at Yoongi who's already facing the wall in front of him as if it's the greatest art of the century, and Namjoon knows that his Hyung is just avoiding eye contact . In any other situation it wouldn't have been this awkward but Yoongi's fingers are not grazing anymore instead they snakes around Namjoon's palm and locks it tightly. So it might be little off how they are holding hands in the middle of the studio when they both should be eating breakfast with other members.

There's something going on in Yoongi's head and Namjoon doesn't know if he should be worried about the older or should congratulate him for initiating physical contact. "You know you are a great leader right.?" Yoongi's low voice startles him and when he comprehends the exact words coming out of his Hyung's mouth, he cackles. "Hyung, should I be concerned about what's coming next?" Yoongi smiles weakly and looks at the pre debut photo of them on his phone placed on his other hand. "Leader doesn't have any extra benefits but they face much harder obstacles then their members. I feel you should know how much I-we all are proud of you. Sometimes I watch one of our interviews or like that video of ours meeting the President and listening to you for a while I realise that there's so much on your shoulder that even if we all try, we can't take the whole load off."

Namjoon just blankly looks at Yoongi who's still looking at the photo. "You all have load on your shoulders too," Yoongi places his phone on the table and none of them is bringing up the fact that they are still holding hands and it's probably because no one cares at this point. "But it's not even close when it comes to you." Yoongi senses the discomfort in Namjoon's movements like he's ready to come up with a debate. Yoongi glances at younger's face covered with disagreeable expressions but he nonetheless continues without waiting for other's reply, "You should ask for help. I mean you have to handle things on national and international basis and it could be tiresome and frustrating a-and it infuriates me how we're not able to help you with most of these matters. So just ask us, any of us. I'm not just talking about speaking in English but like anything else that worries you because I've known you for last ten years and if I learned something about you it's that you take matters entirely in your own hands and make it your freaking responsibility."

Yoongi could feel Namjoon's hands tensing in his own, "As much as cringe this is going to sound but we are a team and it's true, leader or not you're not supposed to overburden yourself. Just ask for help or talk to us. Don't try to get into a pit all alone. We're in this together and as much as we are proud of everything you do, we also want you to relax. I know there's still going to be a lot of pressure on you but don't let that ruin your present, RM or Kim Namjoon you deserve some peace as well."

Namjoon's just staring at their intertwined fingers and it's kind of unbelievable how his Hyung's hands are still so warm even at this time of the day. Yoongi must have felt a change in other's conduct so he removes his hand from the grip while fake coughing. "I- Okay," Namjoon stutters and he entirely blames Yoongi for his warm cheeks. The older should have at least warned him before giving a monologue and now he can't even manage to utter a coherent sentence. Either he's overwhelmed or just couldn't apprehend Yoongi's words.

Yoongi picks up his phone to take a look at the time. He then looks up at Namjoon with puffy eyes who's just pretending to work at the lyrics again. "Let's have breakfast. I don't want Jeongguk to eat up everything again," Namjoon laughs at how Yoongi is trying to distract him from thinking about their conversation. "I mean he's growing you can't really blame him," Yoongi just plainly smiles at Namjoon's words and takes the lyrics sheet out of younger's hands and places it on the table. Yoongi then moves toward the door and Namjoon soon follows him.

It was weird for Yoongi to say something like that at this time in the morning but a good kind of weird and maybe Namjoon should have recorded Yoongi's voice and send it to their group chat so that the members could tease the older for fifty more years but maybe next time.

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Namgi makes me soft <3