I knew this day would happen. I can't stop my tears or the sadness that I'm embarrassed by. I can't leave this beautiful room filled with flowers and anticipation for the future because I can't stop thinking about the past. As I sat there in the church, I knew that I should have been getting dressed and applying my make-up which surely would be ruined with tears, but I couldn't stop my memories of my handsome prince.
Charlie was becoming someone else's king today. He had found his forever love. He had found his new queen. His eyes embodied fire, which I've never seen before, not even during his proudest moments. Not with academic honor cords. Not with a captain sleeve on the soccer field. Not with yells of inspiration on the basketball court. Not even upon walking to the drafting stage and donning his NBA ball cap.
I remember when Charlie lost his first tooth. He was tugging and pulling with his tiny little fingers yelling, "ouchie" the entire time, but continuing to tug and pull. My prince was determined to pull it out of his bloody mouth. When he finally proudly handed me his tooth, I knew his future would be full of success, and even pain. I also knew he would be strong enough in endure that pain as he did with his tooth. As he placed it under his pillow, he turned and gazed into my eyes and said, "Mommy, will she really come see me?"
"Who, the Tooth Fairy?" I said. Now, of course, I knew very well who he meant.
"Yes, the Tooth Fairy. I know she's not a queen like you, but she's still magical right?" I tried my best to keep the innocent softness of motherhood upon my face without shedding tears of overwhelming joy. "Yes, my handsome prince, the Tooth Fairy is magical, and she'll always find her way to you with every lost tooth. She'll always know where you are."
I was the Tooth Fairy and I vowed to always protect my prince.
As I continued to dream of the past, my own queen entered the room. The queen that my own mother had entrusted to care for her princess, me. My sweet Cora. My dedicated wife. Cora was with me side by side as we watched our prince grow into the king he would become today.
"Babe, you can't sit in here forever," Cora gently said to me. "We've eventually got to check on our baby boy and make sure his tie is straight and he's ready to walk down that aisle."
"No, I'm not ready to let him go," I pouted as I did when I took Charlie to school in his first day of kindergarten or when we moved him into his dorm room his first year in college." I finally stood and shuffled to the closet to put on my dress and heels. "I refuse to put make-up," I began to say before our daughter, Chloe burst through the doors.
Charlie's sister exclaimed in annoyance, "What's taking so long? We have 10 minutes before we've got say the damn prayer with the preacher before Charlie starts his life as a old married man," Chloe laughed.
"He is becoming a king," I corrected.
I knew I was being ridiculous. Cora and Chloe were both immediately silent and simply stared at me with sympathy in their eyes. Chloe came over and kissed me gently on the check and whispered, "Mom, we'll always be your prince and princess and you'll always be our queen. Do you want me to help you get dressed and do your makeup?" I nodded with tears in my eyes and Chloe took care of me, while Cora quietly left the room and made her way back to Charlie.
In no time at all, Chloe quietly said that she was done with my makeup. "Mom you look like a perfect queen." Before tears could begin to fall once again, my handsome prince entered the room. I once again noticed the fire in Charlie's eyes that were filled with love and promise.
My handsome prince walked directly to me and cradled my aging face with his grown hands, "I love you always and forever Mommy. You're not giving me away today; you're making me a king today. Thank you and I love you more than I'll ever be able to express," Charlie said.
As I stood at the alter arm in arm with Cora, while Charlie exchanged vows and promised to make his soulmate his queen forever and always, my mind was not consumed with memories of the past, but dreams of the future.
By: Joanne L. Harris-Duff
