Want You Back

When Gigi locked herself in the bathroom, her whole body was trembling and she was having trouble believing what she'd just seen. She turned on the tap in the sink completely, holding her hands under the cold water, in case it would stop them from shaking. She looked up and looked at herself in the mirror opposite.

Even she could see the disappointment in her eyes. She thought that her heart could not be more broken, but she had just experienced that this could happen. She was too angry to cry. She was madly angry with her ex-girlfriend Crystal, who was having fun with a girl on her arm in the living room of the house, where the party was going on. Gigi didn’t even know who that girl was.

She felt sick. It had only been a few weeks since she left Crystal, how had she been able to start seeing someone else so quickly? She didn't want her to cry for Gigi forever, of course, but even though it was Gigi who left, even she hadn't been through the separation pain yet. She still remembered how Crystal looked at her, when she said, she wanted to leave.

***

She had gone to Crystal's house, their plan for the night was one of their usual movie nights. At least that was Crystal's plan, Gigi's head was full of other ideas. Her lover greeted her with a warm hug and a sweet kiss. Gigi also put a kiss on the curls of the black-haired girl. Crystal's hair was priceless for the other girl.

They ate the dinner, which Crystal made, and Gigi couldn't finish her plate because she preferred to watch the girl across from her. Her lover laughed, "Why are you looking at me like that, eat your food?", she said. Gigi smiled when she said, "I want to watch you right now."

Crystal's bronze skin turned red, her hot chocolate-like eyes were in Gigi's blue eyes, "You're doing it to embarrass me."

Gigi continued to watch the girl with a smile. They finished their meals and washed the dishes together. Crystal liked the fact that Gigi was more in touch than ever before. The tall girl was definitely touching her as she passed by Crystal, occasionally pressing her lips to her cheek and head. Crystal was delighted.

They took their drinks and took the seat in front of the TV. Crystal sat down with her feet under her feet, Gigi crossed her legs, their knees were touching each other. The starting music of the movie they rented for tonight was heard on the screen. Crystal was ready to lose herself in the movie as Gigi spoke. "I want to leave."

Gigi wanted to disappear from the universe at that moment. Be lost. Not coming back again. She had written many scripts in her head for days, but none of them was telling Crystal that she wanted to leave suddenly while she was sitting there in all her beauty.
She hated herself.
She hated this idea.

For a while, this idea had remained in the corner of her brain, and it had tampered every brain cell she had. Because she realized that something was happening, which was incredibly disturbing to her, that she could never allow. She had fallen in love with Crystal.
Gigi Goode couldn't be in love.

Gigi had sworn she would never fall in love with anybody, after what her father did to her mother and her. She was 13 years old when her father left. Her mother was so in love with her father that she was depressed for a year. She could neither look at herself nor at Gigi. At the age of 14, Gigi had started working with a tailor. The fact that Gigi spent all her time from school working was what awakened her mother.

Gigi never stopped working after that day, even though her mother recovered and managed to build a decent life for the two of them. Every day, when she woke up, every evening before she went to sleep, she reminded herself that she wouldn't love anyone more than herself. And that thing called love is just a disease.

That's why she had to leave Crystal. She shouldn't have seen Crystal again. She should have removed Crystal from her life and never had such a long-term relationship ever again.
The whole list she had written down in her mind was erased when Crystal looked into her with tearful eyes. She even forgot why she wanted to leave.
"Gigi?"