Salty Fries & Greasy Thighs

206 4 5

by Literally-A-Bear

by Literally-A-Bear

(I came out of retirement for this kill me)

-Readers POV-

Another day another abandoned town you thought, you wonder what you would be greeted with this time. You see you were an Abandoned Town Expeditionist, an A.T.E for short. This was your job, your passion, your everything. Today was different though, this town had no name, no information, only coordinates. ("That's odd..." ) you thought. But you never backed down, this job meant too much to you.

Arriving at the town entrance the first thing you notice is the deafening silence, thick enough to slice through, something you thought you'd be used to by now but feels....different somehow. You shook off the sudden feeling of uneasiness and continued on into the town. Walking through the town you saw various small, abandoned homes and stores, nothing that you haven't seen before. "This just seems like every other town I've been too...I don't get-" you stopped in your tracks. You slowly looked up. Right in front of you....was the biggest fucking McDonalds you've ever seen. No seriously, this place was G I N O R M O U S. You couldn't believe your eyes. What type of small town in the middle of nowhere needed a McDonalds this big??? Suddenly hopeful that this expedition wasn't a complete waste of your time, you waste no time entering the building.

Upon entering the humongous building, you are immediately slapped with the suffocating salty air and the potent smell of rotten food. You gag. You walk farther into the establishment with curiosity, hoping to find something interesting. Not even 5 steps in and- "bah da bah bah bah" you hear in an ominous voice from behind you. You spin around, "WHO'S THERE" you scream just to be met with emptiness. You go to turn back around but is instead suddenly met face to face with a red and yellow suit. You gulp and slowly look up..looking down at you is none other than Ronald McDonald himself, with a eerie smile on his face. "Would you like....a happy meal....?" he asks. You go to scream but he quickly puts a gloved finger up to your lips.. "Shhh...it's okay" he whispers into your ear sensually. He leans in... "McDaddys got you.." "the fuck did you just say to m-" he silences you by putting his lips to yours, the taste of fries and big macs suddenly fill your mouth, an oddly comforting taste. Accepting your delicious fate he picks you up, still locking lips and places you on top of the counter.

With lips still locked and tongues fighting for dominance he goes to unbutton his suit, revealing his greasy clown white skin, with one swift movement he undresses you in the blink of the eye "how the fuck-" "SHH" "Sorry McDaddy". He pushes down the rest of his unbuttoned clown suit to reveal his pasty, white, greasy, throbbing member. "Why the fuck is it greasy--" silencing you, he grabs your head and thrusts it towards his McDing-a-ling. "Dinner...is served" he says. It twitches in your face. The smell of salt and grease emitting from it. You want to gag but somehow hold it back, in respect for your McDaddy. You hesitantly put it in your mouth, he moans "Uagh fuck i'm lovin' it" The taste of salt instantly filling your mouth. Dear god this is horrible but you'd do it for McDaddy. With the grease working as a lubricant he grabs your head with his gloved hands and starts bobbing your head up and down, faster and faster. You withstand the urge to puke on his McSchlong. Not long after you feel him tense up as he suddenly fills your mouth with his cream. He lets go of your head and sighs, satisfied.

You cough frantically gasping for air until you realize something...you smack your lips...it's Big Mac sauce....he just came Big Mac sauce....Trying to process what the FUCK just happened Ronald suddenly grabs your ass and pulls it towards him. "You didn't think McDaddy was finished did you?" he whispers in your ear. "Okay do you HAVE to call yourself tha-" he hushes you by forcing his gloved fingers into your mouth, the sudden taste of leather on your tongue. Swifty, he enters your hole, you grunt, biting down on his gloved fingers. You hold yourself up on the counter as he thrusts back and forth, the leftover Big Mac sauce working as lube. He moans, frantically whispering "i'm lovin it" under his breath repeatedly with each movement. It burns so bad (prolly from the Big Mac sauce tbh that shits an infection waiting to happen) but you embrace the pain for Ronald. He picks up the pace, gripping you tighter until you feel the same familiar feeling, he tenses up as you suddenly feel the large amount of Big Mac sauce and grease fill you up. He collapses on your back. You both stand there for a second, trying to catch your breath. After a moment he lifts himself up towards your ear, removing his fingers from your mouth and gripping your chin with them instead. "Hope you enjoyed....your happy meal...." He chuckles into your neck.

Finally coming back to reality and processing whatever the fuck just happened you stand there in shock...I just fucked a sauce filled clown. "What the FUCK was THA-" you turn around, but to your surprise nobody is there, you look down to the floor to see Big Mac sauce covering the tiles but no Ronald in sight. Not even a trace. How do you lose a 6'4 clown. Seriously. Confused and slightly terrified you quickly clean yourself off and exit the McDonald's as fast as you can.

You run to your car as fast as humanly possible, wanting to leave this cursed town immediately. But as you approach your car you notice something...a bright red happy meal box sitting on the hood of your car. You hesitantly approach it and slowly open it to find....a 10 piece McNugget meal (sweet) and a small plastic bag containing a small hot wheels car. "Piece of shit didn't give me the Polly Pocket toy fuck this" With a nugget in your mouth you jump in the car and start to leave. I'm never coming back to this town again.

The End

(Yay McNuggies :D)