You saved me (nemi fanfic)

ch.1

(Demi's pov.)

As my manager, Sofia pulls in to the drive way of my house I tap my foot on the floor of the SUV, impatiently. I unbuckle quickly & already have my hand ready on the handle to open the car & sprint in to the house as soon as she would park.

"Demi slow down. I haven't even parked" she warns as she pulls in to the circular drive way. She finally parks & I push the car door open & fly in to the house. The door was left unlocked from the house

cleaners so I let myself in, & fly up the large spiral wooden stair case. I ran down the hall & found my own room. I pushed the door open, fiercely almost knocking it down. I walk in and shut the door and throw myself on my bed letting all the tears that were building up inside me for the past week flow down my cheeks. I let all the stress and hatred towards myself out.

After about 20 minutes of letting myself go, I walk in to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I walk closer to the counter, putting pressure on my stomach to push the fat I saw away & putting pressure on my cut up wrists. I wince in pain & release myself. I lift my wrists and look at the scars. I had been clean for the week, only because I knew it wasn't safe to self harm when I was never really alone & always surrounded by radio show hosts, managers, fans, & people i didnt actually like. I run my fingers along the cuts and smile at the pain that should make me cry.

"Demi? Are you hungry? I have some saved up salad in the kitchen" I hear Sofia call from outside my door. My stomach growls & I clutch it begging it to shut up.

"no" I call back, my voice cracking. My voice was in terrible condition from all the purging I had been doing for the week. I hadn't eaten much but I made sure to get rid of every piece of food that passed my mouth. I hear Sofia walk away and I lean on the counter, feeling a bit dizzy from the empty stomach I was living on. No Demi. You can't eat. You have that party tonight, you can't eat.

My friend kaylie was throwing a party tonight. I don't actually like kaylie. No one does. She uses people, mainly celebrities. But I surround myself with people like her so i wouldn't feel completely alone. Besides who else would want to be friends with a fat, ugly, no good alien like me.

I sigh & feel the tears slip again. I look at myself in the mirror & watch the warm salty water fall from my eyes. I rummage through the drawers & cabinets around me until I finally find it. My razor. I shut my bathroom door and sit on the floor. I roll up my sleeve & lift my wrist, but quickly put it back down remembering there would be paparazzi at the party tonight & I wouldn't want pictures of my cuts to get out again. I take the sweat pants I had been wearing for the day off & look at my fat thighs. I grab the razor from the floor & feel my hand shaking. It still surprises me every time I find myself scared before I hurt myself. I've been doing it for years, how come it still scares me? I shrug the thought off & begin to tell myself all my flaws.

No one likes you Demi, cut, your fat, cut, your ugly, cut, your not talented, cut, you don't deserve to be alive, cut, you shouldn't be alive, cut.

By the time I finish I'm curled up on the cold hard ground with tears streaming down my face. Shaking & sobbing I watch the cuts ooze blood & I feel the pain. So raw & so free.

"Demi?" Sofia calls from the door of my room. I shoot up & wipe my tears.

"what?!" I shout with venom & a quiver in my voice.

"we're leaving in two hours. Start getting ready." & with that I hear her shuffle away & I fall back to the ground in sobs.

15 minutes later I sit up in a daze. This always happens after I self harm. I sob for about an hour after then eventually I find myself almost delusional from crying & all the pain I feel. I snap out of my funk & stand up. The blood had stopped oozing & now it was just dried up. I walk to the shower & turn the water on. I slip out of all my clothes & step in to the burning water letting all the dried blood wash out of the cuts & slip down my legs & into the drain. A few tears slip out as the cuts sting a bit from the soap I use, but it's almost just as satisfying as cutting. I sigh once I finish & turn the steaming water off. I step out & wrap a towel around me & walk in to my walk in closet to find an outfit. Pants. Tight pants. That's what I need. I grab the tightest & smallest pair of pants I own & slip them on. I grab a loose black crop top with a gold heart on it & grab a leather jacket and put it over my shirt pulling the sleeves down as far as I can to make sure my cuts won't show.

I walk back in to the bathroom & see my blood, my sweats, & the razor all on the floor. I sigh & grab a towel. I wet it & clean the marble tiles & my razor off. I grab my sweats and put them in my secret stash of clothes only I can wash aka my blood drenched clothes. I put my razor back in my drawer & shut it. I grab my makeup bag & cake my face till it looks as fake as it possibly could, making all the ugliness disappear. I plug my curler in to the plug & curl each piece of dirty blonde in to s stylish messy ringlet. I sigh for about the millionth time when I finish & walk out of the bathroom shutting the light off and dragging myself to my bed, hitting the light in my room off as well. I throw myself down on my bed again & close my eyes letting my exhaustion take me away from the pain.