Intro

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Six months ago I was your average high school-hating senior. Only three months until graduation – three months until I would experience the freedom of total anonymity at a big university. A complete chance to start over.

I had been preparing for it. I was working like mad at my job at the Cineplex over in Brighton to buy a brand new wardrobe. I was going to hit college like a British band coming to America in the 1960s. There would be crowds. Or at least several pairs of eyeballs looking in my direction. Someone would be paying attention.

It was going to be my moment.

So why was I still wasting valuable brain space on a girl like Levina Deuchant? Girls like Levina would be abundant in the babe plentiverse that was Whatcom State College. Levina Deuchant could go suck it.

And yet, much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, my glance continued to flick up from my Kindle every time Levina crossed the moldy, cracked cafeteria floor of Jacob Creek High School. It was a Pavlovian dog response: see the girl – now drool.

Lest you think I'm one of those pitiful pretenders of confidence who litter the frames of coming-of-age romance movies from the 1980s, I did actually talk to Levina. Once.

November 16, 2009, fall of junior year. 10:41 AM. Three feet from the door to Mr. Erickson's Current Events class, which I shared with Levina. Levina's bag drops, spilling it's tantalizing contents underneath the doorway. A gleaming metallic lipstick tube rolls across the moldy carpet and collides with my feet. I bend. I grab. I look directly into Levina's eyes and hand over the prize.

"Thanks," she says.

And I say – wait for it – "No problem."

No problem. Two words that can never be taken from me. Did I stutter? No. Did I blush? Maybe. But you can't deny that we had an ACTUAL CONVERSATION. That was enough action for a handful of months.

Fortune strikes only once. For a second opportunity, I knew I would need to make it happen myself. I didn't plan to spill her bag (too obvious) and I certainly didn't plan to be caught up in this totally bogus, how-can-they-think-I-had-anything-to-do-with-it theft charge, do they really think I'm that stupid –

Sorry. I'm a little angry about what happened.

Anyway,I guess this is my round-about way of saying this is all Levina's fault. If Ihadn't been trying to get her attention, none of this would have happened.

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