everything // LarryStylinson

13. Louis

(A/N) This chapter takes place synchronously with the previous chapter (A/N)

Shortly after I sent Carter a text, I hear a knock at my door. I really hope it's not Harry.

I don't know how I'm gonna face him. That's why I invited Carter up.

"Hey mate," I greet Carter with a fist bump, and Cody with a high five.

"Louis! Great to see you mate. What are you thinking for pregame?" Carter asks, walking into my suite and taking a seat with Cody on the couch.

Cody isn't really one for words, he's always been like that.

"Oh, I need something to relax for sure. Maybe a mix of some different shit, I don't know. What you got?" I question, taking a seat across from them.

"I've got xannys, herion, adderal, weed of course, cocaine, a little bit if crystal, and some hashish," Carter and Cody unload the excessive amount of drugs onto the coffee table, and I get up to verify the door is locked.

If someone came in we'd definitely be thrown in jail, for life probably.

"I think I'm gonna go with Xanax and hashish," I state, reaching in my wallet and handing him $200.

He mumbles something in response but I don't hear it. I watch him weigh the shit I asked for, and my mind drifts to the one and only, Harry Styles.

—-Flashback—-

"Is it any better today, love?" Louis asked Harry, who was laid stretched out on the Hard floor.

"No... Hurts to talk, I love you," Harry whispered in response.

Harry had a "bulging disc" in his spine. Basically, one of his lower vertebrae came out of line with the others. Eventually, something happened and it became completely herniated. Sometimes he feels no pain, other times it is excruciating.

"You need to take something babe, I can't stand seeing you hurting this bad," Louis gently said to Harry, laying down on his stomach next to him.

"No, I love you Lou," is all Harry replied with, a little louder this second time.

"Harry-" Louis started, but was cut off by Harry's low, sexy, raspy voice.

"You know I won't baby, stop trying and kiss me,"

"But this is diff-"

"Shhh, kiss me,"

—-End of Flashback—-

I cut off my thoughts by swallowing to xanax bars. If I am going to do what I have to tonight, I need to be fucked up.

The pain in my chest is dulled a little bit from the drugs, but it's still present. I pour myself a shot of jim beam while Carter and Cody talk about shit I'm not even listening to.

Harry is going to be crushed.

I continue to drink until I can't feel anything, emotionally and physically.

—

I don't know how long I was out, but when we arrive at the club I see all my bandmates are already here. I can't bring myself to look at him.

One glance won't hurt? Right?

It did... He didn't catch my stare, so I watch him for a bit. His eyes are bloodshot and he looks to be laughing about something.

Is he drinking?

Did he take something?

Is he okay?

I can't help but think like this, I am in love with him. He's my Harry.

I can't show it though. Otherwise we're all fucked.

Carter, Cody and I approach the lads, who exchange introductions. The girl I am assuming management paid to be here works her way into the intros, Harry couldn't look less interested if he tried.

The girl tells us her name is Lillie, and she makes a terrible attempt to hit on me. I know she's just doing this for the money, and it isn't her fault, so I keep it civil with her. Out of the corner of my eye I see Harry laugh to himself, shaking his head.

It's not a happy laugh. It's like as if to say "wow, okay..."

Moment's later, the broad sits on my lap. I pretend to like it, but I just don't. It's like sitting with my sister, girls don't do it for me.

I squeeze at her hip, and kiss her neck. I know, what the fuck Louis, but I'm fucked up and sad and if I can't have him I may as well try with her. I steal a quick glance at Harry, who looks like he just witnessed the death of a litter of kittens.

I keep messing around with Lillie, all the while watching Harry out of the corner of my eye. He's getting tanked with Niall and Liam. I know I'm not supposed to care, but I do. Harry only smokes weed, he drinks on occasion and never uses any other drugs. It's just weird to see him this sloppy. Not that I should be talking...

"You're really hot, Lillie," I say loud enough so Harry couldn't possibly have not heard. I want to see how he reacts, so I can gauge how fucked up he is right now. Harry stills, trying not to listen in but I can tell by his body language that he has directed his attention toward me.

"Louis you must get so much pussy, being a rockstar and all," Cody announces, there's no way Harry missed that one. I confirm he's heard it when I notice his fists clenched, knuckles white.

"The women are the best part," I reply sassily, groping at Lillie's side knce again, causing her to grind against my waist.

Ehh, Nah.

"Not gonna lie, we heard some shit, thought all this singing made you turn queer," Carter remarks, causing me to cringe on the inside. I panic, These guys can't know I'm gay. Management will ruin our lives if I slip up.

"Haha, no fucking way mate. That's disgusting!" I put on an act, pulling Lillie even closer. After a couple fake laughs, I see a clumsy shadow from my peripheral stumbling out of the club.

It's Harry.

Followed by Niall, who was being followed by Liam, however Liam backtracked and approached me.

"You really are a different breed of asshole," Liam spits at me, causing me to cower.

I really thought he was going to hit me, but instead he turns around in pursuit of Harry.

That should be me...

But it isn't.

And never will be again.

I turn Lillie's face to face me, and press my lips into hers.

It's nice, but I don't have the same butterflies in my chest that I do with Harry. Her lips are thin, bland, boring. Harry has big, sweet, soft, warm, perfect lips. His put hers to shame.

She turns her whole body so she is straddling me, I bring my hand's onto her ass.

I can see the flash of paparazzi's cameras through my closed eyelids.