Darling in the FranXX: Insurrection

Chapter 50 - To Become Death

"Do you have to go?"

Asuna's voice is laced with sadness as she holds your hand and looks out toward the waiting Princess of the Klaxosaurs and her escort, the enormous serpent Jörmungandr.

You kneel on one leg to look her and her sister in the eye.

"I need to do this, girls," you tell the twins with a twinge of regret, guilty that you're leaving them so soon after what happened to Ichigo.

"Terra is going to make sure we win this war, but I have to help her to make that happen. I promise that I'll come back."

With a downtrodden look, Asada says, "Ichigo promised too."

It breaks your heart to hear your daughter uttering those words, but at the same time it reminds you of a decision you'd made. The girls deserved to know the truth of what happened to her before you left.

After a deep breath to calm your nerves, you take each girl's hand in your own.

"There is something I want to tell you two, something I've been holding back because I didn't think you were ready to hear it. Something... I wasn't ready to admit."

The memory of what occurred only a week ago in VIRM's underground base still burns brightly in your mind, causing your buried feelings to resurface.

"When Ichigo... when Ichigo and I went to stop VIRM, we ran into bad people. Psi survived the fall somehow, and that boy Alpha from the Nines was there too. We fought them, but it didn't go well."

Asuna and Asada have been listening intently to everything you've said, trying to piece together the details surrounding their mother's death. The blonde twin's eyes bulge while her sister's grip is so tight your hand is beginning to go numb.

"There was an explosion and some things happened. Alpha and I were fighting over a knife, but I got it first. I tried to stop him from hurting anyone else, and then... then he stepped out of the way, and she was right there. She was right there in front of me, and I..."

Cold sweat runs down your back and your eyes brim with tears. It takes every bit of strength you have to say what comes next in a shaky and breaking voice.

"Girls, I killed your mother."

In an instant the color drains from both of their little faces.

Asada's fingers unlace from yours and her hand falls to her side. She begins to mumble incoherently to herself, "No, no, no..."

Asuna fairs only slightly better, appearing to at least process the information. She looks at you with tears in her eyes and whispers, "That's why you said, 'if anyone should blame themself' back then."

Streams of tears run down Asada's face as she looks back to you. Her little hands ball into fists as she begins to shake her head. "You're lying. I don't believe you. You're lying. You... you said you'd protect her."

"It was an accident," you continue with the morbid revelation. "I was trying to get Alpha, but he moved out of my way, and I couldn't stop myself in time."

Asuna wordlessly watches you for confirmation with a pained look on her face.

Sinking to your knees, you tightly clench the fabric of your pants. "I tried. I tried so hard to keep her safe. I didn't care about myself, even, just her." A thick teardrop runs down your face. "...But it wasn't enough."

You run your hands through your hair before they cover your face as you begin to sob. "My, my one job, my only job, was to keep her safe. And I couldn't, I couldn't even do that much."