everything // LarryStylinson

14. Harry

"Harry, wait up hun! You're wasted!" I hear Niall call after me.

He's right, I can barely walk without tripping on a good day, probably shouldn't be roaming around alone.

"Niall, I- He..." I had held it together until this moment. The tears keep coming and they don't stop. My emotions are heightened from the weed mixed with alcohol. I don't recommend getting twisted unless you do both regularly, which I do not.

"I know, shhh," Niall brings my huge awkward self into a tight bear hug. I feel another person join us, who I can feel to be Liam. We group hug for a minute before Liam speaks up.

"You lot wanna stay in my suite tonight? Bed's a california king, we can make sure everyone's alright." I know they are referring to me only, but I weakly smile and nod in agreement. It'll be nice to not be alone with my thoughts tonight.

We quietly take the elevator up to the 8th floor, where Liam's suite is, Niall and I both have to lean on the elevator wall and practically hold each other up for support. I was doing fine, but the spins hit me once the elevator started moving.

"Shit," I mumble while tripping over my feet, falling on my hands and knees as we walk down the hallway.

"Aw, Harry, you clumsy little thing," Liam says in adoration while peeling me off the floor, earning a small laugh from me and a big one from Niall.

Hearing Niall's laugh makes me happy, he's just one of those amazing people that their presence alone lights up a room.

I love him, completely platonic but I really care about him so much. Liam too, obviously.

I am way to emotional right now.

But I always am.

I'm a lover.

I love hard.

So when it goes wrong it hurts so much more than it should.

However, I would rather love hard and experience more pain, than not have loved this hard at all.

Liam opens his door and we all flop onto the bed, too tired for post-party bullshit. No one even bothered to turn the lights on.

Liam and Niall laid on their backs on the ends of the bed, leaving a gap in the center that I filled with my awkward, stupid self, lying on my stomach

"Do you think he stopped loving me?" I ask them after a moment of silence.

No response.

"Hello?" I ask the dark, quiet room.

"Hi," Niall answers, causing me to lightly laugh.

"No, I don't. Maybe he's just confused right now, but regardless how he acted tonight was not fair to you Haz," Liam states, sounding like he had taken time to think out his response.

"What's there to be confused about? We have been together for almost 5 years? If anyone should be confused it should be me," I reply, sadness and defeat laced in my voice.

"I know. Harry, one of the things I admire about you is how fucking strong you are. Yeah, maybe you cry at romantic flicks, maybe you're a big softie, but you are the strongest person I have ever met. You are yourself, you don't care what other people think. You are just an amazing person, you treat everyone so much better than they deserve, you give everyone every part of you. It's incredible, I am so lucky to have a best mate like you, and if I were into men I would totally be trying to wife you up," Niall ends his speech with a smirk, running his hand through my hair.

"You're so open. It's inspiring. Everything about you is just incredible, Harry. You love  with everything you have, giving everyone every bit of your being. You need to remember to take care of yourself too. You deserve to be with someone as accepting, open, and loving as you are," Liam adds on, rubbing my back.

Just as I'm about to say something, the door opens and I shoot my head up.

"Nope, fuck no. Get that guy outta here," I say to Liam, jumping out of the bed after I confirm it's Louis with a darting glance.

"Harry," Louis starts, but something in me snaps.

"Don't 'Harry' me. In fact, don't talk to me, or even look my way ever again. Why don't you go back to your plaything? Who by the way, looks exactly like me for fucks sake!" I've never heard my own voice sound so icy, so mean.

I know Niall must be holding in a laugh, because he lets out a noise that sounds like something between a cough and a snort.

"Harry, listen to me," Louis starts, but I cut him off once again.

A realization hits me like a ton of bricks. Louis had to have drunk messaged me that awful text. His words that he said lined up with his actions. My naive ass thought it was management, meanwhile he's been ashamed to be with me the entire time.  

"No Louis. You're right. I'm disgusting, I ruined your life. None of it was ever real, that's why it was so easy for you to act homophobic and cheat on me right in front of my fucking eyes. What the fuck Louis? A simple fucking warning that you were going to leave me would've sufficed. You are such a coward. You can't come talk to me when you're unhappy, but you're perfectly fine to send me hateful messages, say homophobic shit, and cheat on me in front of my fucking face. Don't worry, I'll stay the fuck away from you. You made that really fucking easy for me. You think I'm disgusting? Sure, I'm a fag but at least I'm not a sleazy, two-faces fucking cheater..." I am out of breath and light headed by the time I finish my rant, he takes a step closer to me.

"Harry, it's not-"

Before I continue to speak, I take a stumble past him and make my way to the door so I can bolt to my room after my rant. I inhale deeply, slurring a little when I speak, and make my closing statement, "Can you just fuck off already? Like really, what more could you possibly want from me? I gave you everything, Louis. Every fucking part of my soul, and you completely shit on it tonight. I don't want to be around people who are ashamed of me or what I am. I don't want to be around you anymore. I won't make it difficult for the band, but please, if you ever cared about me at all, even as just a friend, get the fuck out of my life, let me move on and heal. "