Questions and Antics

"Do we really have to do this again?" Danger Mouse complained as other members of the Agency hustled and bustled all around him. They were doing yet another stupid charity fund for the Agency, courtesy again of the Agency's own leader: Colonel K. As if he hadn't learned his lesson from last time! Although, admittedly, he had decided to scrap the "show old footage reels" idea in favor of a Q&A. But even though that seemed more enjoyable, Danger Mouse just really didn't want to waste his night doing an interview when he could've been doing something much cooler, like watching TV or playing video games or working out or stopping crime or-

"Well, seeing as how we've already started, I would say yes," Professor Squawkencluck said in deadpan, giving the mouse an exasperated look. He could still be so childish and whiny sometimes! Danger Mouse frowned at her, crossing his arms, but he knew she was right. They were already here, the stage was set, the mics and lights were on, they were literally five seconds away from going live. All that was left was for-

"Ladies and gentleman! Boys and girls! Welcome to the second annual Danger Agency Charity Fundraiser!" and there it was, Colonel K's overly excited introduction. Danger Mouse sighed and rolled his eye.

"Come on, Danger Mouse, think of this as a night where you get to talk about your favorite subject in the whole world!" Professor Squawkencluck teased. "Yourself!" She gave him a smug smirk, but he was not amused. Instead, his pout only deepened.

But before he could say anything, Penfold poked him and whispered urgently.

"You're on, Chief!" he cried. "You got the first question!"

"Of course I did," Danger Mouse rolled his eye again.

"What an esteemed honor," Professor Squawkencluck continued to tease, pushing Danger Mouse through the curtain and to the front of the stage.

"Question #1!" Colonel K greeted Danger Mouse with a smile. "How did you get your eyepatch?"

"Huh?" Danger Mouse's pout instantly changed to a look of confusion.

"How did you get your eyepatch?" Colonel K repeated, not at all put off by Danger Mouse's obvious and sudden confusion.

"My... Eyepatch?" Danger Mouse tilted his head, as if he genuinely didn't understand the question.

"Do you not know?!" someone from the audience finally asked, standing up and cupping their mouth so Danger Mouse could hear them.

"Come on! We've been waiting seasons for this answer!" someone else agreed.

"Do you even have an eye under there? Or are you only wearing the eyepatch for the aesthetic?!" a third asked.

"Well, I, uhh, see, well, you know...?" in an almost out-of-character moment, all Danger Mouse could do was sputter and stutter before finally coming up with a coherent, albeit clumsy, reply.

"You see, the thing is, my writers have not yet released that little factoid to the public, so I cannot, in good faith, come up with an answer on my own, as it would not be canon, and, until I get the green light from the show writers and producers, I am afraid that question will have to remain unanswered!" he said proudly. "Besides, this is only just a fanfiction for us, so it carries absolutely no weight with which I could use to give you all a credible answer, so... NEXT QUESTION!"

"Stupid plot holes, meta jokes and running gags!" someone else muttered, shaking their head. But Danger Mouse looked quite pleased with his answer and flashed the crowd a winning smile. Back stage, just behind the curtain, Professor Squawkencluck slapped a wing over her face.

But Colonel K was more than happy to move right along!

"And the next question is address to... me!" he looked quite delighted. "When did I join the Danger Agency?"