A long time ago in monkey land. There was a Monkey village. The village was quite small, only having like 50 monkeys. One such monkey, Ralph, was a fan of all kinds of food. He loved Asian monkey food, Black monkey food, White monkey food. All the foods in the monkey world. The monkeys were trying something new called "Monkeymoneyism" where every monkey needed money to live. They called such money "Monkey Money". To sell food, they made stuff called "Monkey fast food". They made great places such as "Monk-Donald's" and "Monkdys" and "Carl's Monkey Jr" but his favorite is "Burger King". An all time classic. Ralph worked at Monk-Donald's, but hated the food. Monk-Donald's made such shitty food. They used Horse meat for the burgers, but the taste of burger king and its use of Burger king meat made him happy.
One day Ralph went up to his boss and said "I hate monk-Donald's, and I hate the working place, i wanna kill myself after working here." The boss quickly made a deal, "I'll give you two Monkey Monies if you don't leave." Ralph then pissed on his boss. He then walked away in his monkey car to his monkey house to think about life. He thought of what made him happy. He could only think of one thing, Burger King. He went to sleep of thinking about his plans for tomorrow.
He woke up the next morning. He got up and got some coffee, he got dressed in his only shirt, which was a Shaggs shirt. He quickly got into Monkey Car, which was a 40 year old Ford F1Monkey. He drove down to the village, the shops dotted the village. "Monk-mart", "7-Monkey", and "route 6monkey". He drove strait to the Burger King which was located in the bad side of the village, where all the Asian monkeys lived. The area was a ruin, but only one good place stood there, the Burger King. He drove into the parking lot, he got of 40 years old truck. He went into the burger king, this is when something crazy happened.
The soda machine was leaking Monk-Cola on the ground. Ralph quickly ran to the soda machine and started to drink the free soda. His head bonked the lever which the soda stop. This made Ralph really sad. He then looked up and saw the a worker, looking around to be 20 years old. Her eyes to be very blood red. She looked to be high on dope, or some other drug. "He-y monkey man *coughs* you want the burger, i mean, welcome to burger king, the good burger place." He started to think what he wanted. Did he want the Whopper, or the Funky Monkey sandwich. Ralph knew of a secret menu though. "I'll have The Big Mac." The woman's eyes open wide. "You ordering off the secret menu? You must be a crazy man, you know you can be put in jail if people find out you know about it" He didn't worry though, because the jail had a Burger King express in it. They asked the government to build one in the jail and they allowed it. The girl quickly notified the cooks, and they allowed the burger to made. He got his size large Monkey cup and went over the soda machine.
He went over and got some Dr. Monkey soda. He walked to the only clean booth in the eatery. The tables and booth had trash, liquid, and probably monkey shit if you looked hard enough. He waited for his food to come out. The TV was playing "The Monkey Game Show" where monkeys did monkey things and won Monkey Money. After waiting 2 hours, he got his illegal Big Mac burger. The worker quickly brought his Burger and his Monkey fries. He looked at this glorious burger. The Big Mac, which seems to have bugs in it, made Ralph wanted to eat it so much. He started to consume it. Eating it very slowly because he loved the taste of it. After a half hour of eating, he finished the burger. He felt so good about his life, but then, a Monkey cop walked in, looking around the eatery. He looked at Ralph, and put on a friendly smile, but then he saw the box. The box said "The Illegal Big Mac Burger by Burger King". The Cop quickly brought out his gun, pointing it at Ralph. "GET ON THE FUCKING FLOOR, YOU HAVE THE ILLEGAL BIG MAC BURGER BY BURGER KING."
Ralph quickly got down to hide from the cop. He was thinking of a plan to run from the cop. "DON'T FUCKING RUN OFF, YOU WILL BE PUT TO DEATH IF YOU RUN WITH THE ILLEGAL BIG MAC BURGER BY BURGER KING." Ralph threw his cup at the cops which made the cop look away. It was enough time to leave the Burger King. He ran to his truck, but the truck won't start. It would only make funny noises, like the noises you would find on the color circle. After 10 minutes, the cop walks out of burger king, and at the same time, the truck starts up and he drove away fast. "1100 HE IS GETTING AWAY WITH THE ILLEGAL BIG MAC BURGER BY BURGER KING." 2 Monkey cop cars chased after him. He had darts in his car and threw them at the cars making them explode. He drove to his house and hid in his monkey bathroom.
After 2 hours, he felt save to live his life. He felt really happy after this day. The next day he applied to the burger king. He got the highest job at Burger King. Making millions of Monkey Monkies. He was running a great eatery. Ralph lived a happy life for the rest of his life. He had two kids and had a happy little family.
The end
(P.S the moral is that you don't order the illegal big mac burger by Burger King.)
