In Hell, imps are the lowest of the low in society. Follow Blitzo (the 'o' is silent), his second in command Y/n, his weapons specialist Moxxie, his powerhouse Millie, and his receptionist hellhound Loona. With the help of an ancient book obtained b...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
On the door, a sign reads 'Meeting in progress.' Inside the room Y/n was standing next to Blitz before he started pacing around. Loona, Millie, and Moxxie sitting in chairs at the table.
"Alright, now I know business has been a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here." Blitzo said.
Y/n coughed. "Moxxie."
Moxxie looks at Y/n and gives her a "What the hell?" look.
"Now does anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?" Blitzo continued.
Millie stood up from her seat. "What about a car wash?"
"This is hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being cleaned here, okay?" Y/n told her.
"Ooh, what about a billboard?" Blitzo suggested with sparkling eyes.
"We can't afford a billboard, sir." Moxxie grumbled.
Y/n walked over to the sourpuss. "Helpful, Moxxie. We're really glad you're in the room right now." Y/n shoved Moxxie off his chair. "Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?"
Blitzo grabs a remote and turns on a TV that shows everyone killing people.
Blitzo bashed someone's face in with a sledge hammer and laughed.
Someone was against a wall and Y/n threw three knives. The first two hit the person's eyes and the third hit the heart.
Moxxie pulled the trigger on his shotgun while it was in someone's mouth and made a hole in the back of their head with the eyes popping out.
The hellhound, Loona had someone in her mouth and was viciously shaking them around while said person screamed from the torture.
Millie cut off the head of a person standing in front of her. She giggled as she held her scythe behind her.
Loona, Millie, Y/n and Blitzo were eating popcorn.
"Ahh, those were the good times." Blitzo praised.
"I don't need any reminding, considering you two blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel nobody watches."
"Uh, hey, excuse me. What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, all right? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!" Blitzo defended.
"People love musicals, sir." Millie informed him.
"Exactly, Millie. And we're basically doin' a musical. Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?" Blitzo pulled the childhood card.
"Sir--" Moxxie tried.
"'Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside."
Millie looked at her husband. "Are you trying to crush his dreams, Moxxie?"
"I-- What?" Moxxie looked at her.
"I thought I knew you." Millie slightly stuck her tongue at him and he blushed.
"I can't believe you, Moxxie, after I made you employee of the month!" Blitzo told him. He held up a plaque with Moxxie's face on it. He didn't look ready for the picture.
Y/n laughed after seeing the picture. She's the one who took it. Moxxie pissed her off that day and Blitzo wanted her to take his picture. So Y/n had a camera and a cup of hot coffee. She gave the cup to Loona and told her to 'accidentally' spill it on Moxxie. When Loona did Moxxie screamed and Y/n took the picture.
"Okay, sir! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles."
"I liked it." Millie said.
Moxxie's eyes widened. "Do not--Do not agree with him in front of me." He pointed at her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hi, there! I'm Blitzo! The "O" is silent, and I'm one of the founders of I.M.P.! "
He gestures to the logo as it appears on screen, then disappears. A picture of Blitzo wearing two top hats through his horns, a monocle, and twiddling a fake mustache, while standing outside of a burning building with a sign that reads "Orphanage for Elderly Blind Newborn Dogs" appears.
"Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to hell?" Blitzo wore an angel costume at a coffeehouse happily throwing an empty coffee cup in a trash can, instead of the recycling bin right next to it. "Or are you an innocent soul who got fucked over by someone else?!"
