Brump (A Biden x Trump Romance)

Chapter 1

Trump's POV

"I do not support gay marriage!", I announced at my rally. Of course, it's not true. I'm just saying it to hide the fact that I'm deeply in love with Joe Biden, my hot, beautiful, and sexy rival candidate.

I just love how his buttocks look so scrumptious and succulent all the time... Sometimes I dream of eloping with him to a far-away island, where I can spank and ride him all day long without his consent because I don't know what consent is.

But I'll never know if he loves me back because I'm scared, and I can't deal with the heartbreaking pain if he doesn't.

After a while, I realized that I had been silent for a few minutes while daydreaming about riding my endearing cutie pie, Joe. My crowd of supporters yelled at me to continue, desperate to hear more bullshit come out of my mouth.

And so, I proceeded with my very wonderful and inspiring speech about taking away LGBTQ+ people's rights while thinking about the things I would do to my blueberry muffin's luscious buttcheeks.

~ ~ ~ ~

Biden's POV

I was currently at my true love's rally, wearing a disguise. As I stared adoringly at my beloved sweetheart, I could hear him say in the background of my daydream that he did not support gay marriage.

My heart shattered.

Ever since I met my darling teddy bear, my biggest dream was to one day marry him. And now, my dreams have been ripped to shreds.

I rushed out of the rally, sobbing while attempting to rub the blurry tears out of my eyes so I could see where I was running.

Eventually, I found myself in front of Don's Pizza. I was hungry from running for so long, so I decided to stop for a quick bite.

When I entered the restaurant, I saw Daddy Cheeto sitting at a table. However, he was not alone, as he was sitting on his delicious fat bootay with his Vice President, Mike Pence.

I glared at them in jealousy. The only place he should be sitting is on my face, I thought.

My sweet honey bunches noticed me scowling at them and flashed me his charming, pearly orange, Cheeto dust smile. "Hey, Joe! Come eat pizza with us!"

Of course, I'd rather eat something else, but I joined them anyway and began eating a slice of pizza.

~ ~ ~ ~

Trump's POV

As I watched my alluring little pumpkin pie chew his pizza, I couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like if he was eating my little pickle instead of his pizza.

   But those weren't very holy thoughts, and I am a very hardcore Christian, so I let them leave my holy mind.

   "Donald? Are you there?" Mike waved in my face.

   "Yes, what were you saying?" I asked while mentally noting that I should stop daydreaming about my beguiling little marshmallow's pickle. Maybe I should pay more attention to how horrible I'm making this country.

   "I was suggesting that we go to my place after this," Mike said. *insert Debby Ryan smirk*

   "Absolutely not! Why would you ask that?" The audacity! He knew that I was in love with my dazzling firefly, Blow Pro Joe. Why would he say that in front of my extraordinary princess?