Remember November

Chapter One

"Good 'ole old fashioned for the man of the hour," the whiskey splashed against the walls of the glass as I placed the drink in front of my regular. The music in the bar was deafening but Joel's gravelly voice rose from the opposite side of the mahogany bar top, "Thanks Tyler."My head jerked downward in acknowledgement as I turned around to make the next drink.The bar was packed tonight, as it was game day. The Islanders were playing the Detroit Red Wings, and as a New Yorker I was cheering the Islanders on.Loud and proud. Well, at least as much as I could while I busted my ass off, tending all the drunk men and women for the night."Aye, you! Hottie with the tight ass, I need a drink!" My ears perked at the catcall. I'd been working at Sizzly's for a little over a year now and I still hadn't gotten used to the name calling. I mean not that anyone ever should, but at a bar located in Midtown Manhattan chances were you'd hear some vulgar description of your body being hollered at you.Sucking in a deep breath and forcing myself to bite my tongue, I turned around as I popped a paper straw into the Pina Colada I'd been mixing, before handing it off to the brunette sitting in her boyfriend's lap. Grabbing the crumpled wad of cash, I stashed it in the front pocket of the boozed stained apron tied around my waist."What can I get ya?" I called over to the asshole who spoke in such great detail about my butt. His eyes puffy, as can be just like the rest of his face. "Budweiser." Figured. This guy reeks of bad taste in beer. I nodded and before I could reach for the beer Sofia, my co-worker, placed it in my hand. "Thanks man." I called out as she continued her way down the bar. Her hand raised above her right shoulder waving at me. "Put it on the tab?" I holla at the asshole, waiting for his answer before sliding him the beer."Sure thing babe, check that table. Back right corner." I looked over to where he pointed and true to his word, a group of guys were watching us.After handing the nasty beer to him, I added it to his tab and continued to tend the bar.The bright red numbers on the clock hanging over the employee back door read 10:56PM. Thirty-four more minutes before my shift was over. The Islanders as predicted kicked Detroit's ass, and rightfully so. Only a handful of tipsy stragglers were staying back. Normally they'd stay until the morning but with it being the middle of the week most had gone back to their respective homes to get some sleep before another day at the office tomorrow. Others however were right on track with their bar hopping. Those usually were the younger ones."Last one for the night Joel?" I asked my companion from earlier. Joel was a kind-sixty-five-year-old man. I first met Joel a year ago when I began working here. Apparently he'd been coming to Sizzly's for some time but always kept to himself.At least that's what Sofia and the rest of the staff had informed me.Yet for some reason we hit it off from the start.Maybe it had to do with me being new but ever since then he'd been one of my only companions, even if he was a few decades older than me."Yup, my old soul is tired." His smile was warm and inviting. Lines surrounded his mouth and the sides of his light brown eyes."Hm, well I clock out in thirty, mind waiting for me so we can walk together?" He gave me a simple nod in return.The bar wouldn't close until much later but since everyone at the bar had a new, fresh beverage in front of them, I began to do some basic cleaning to fill up my time. In between wiping down the counters, I prepared a couple more drinks, handed out beers, and helped bring out some appetizers. Thirty minutes later with the bottoms of my feet aching, I walked to the back room to clock out and hang my apron on the hook with my name on it along the wall, before grabbing my bag and leather coat.I stopped by the kitchen to wave goodbye to our chef, Rafael.Sofia and two of my other co-workers Alec and Stassie were staying back, I quickly said my goodbyes and gave them quick hugs.Joel had paid his tab while I was cleaning up so as I reached him on the other side of the bar, he slipped off his stool and gave me that smile that always warms my heart."Ready?" I asked, though I knew the answer."Ready." He said, hooking his arm so I slipped mine right in between his. Joel, the kind man he is, worked two jobs. A doorman three days a week and a leatherworker the other two. Sometimes he'd surprise me with gifts he'd handmade. In return his drinks would be on the house but I knew he didn't give them to me for that reason.The cold wind of October spread across my cheeks and I knew the tip of my nose was turning pink. I'd forgotten my beanie and gloves back home but I'd survive. "You working tomorrow?"We quickly made our way to the staircase that led us down to the subway, people brushing past us, and the sound of the violinist that always played at night echoing off the walls."Always, a customer ordered seven wallets, three in light leather and four in black." "I hope I get the scraps," I teased, nudging him with my shoulder.A while back, he made a brown-colored wallet and the next day he came into Sizzly's baring scraps knowing it was my favorite color of leather. It was silly but since then we always joke about it."Not this time, Steven has been a bit pickier on how much 'goes to waste'. Joel's glove covered fingers mimed ariquotes."Steven Steven." I tsk, shaking my head as we stopped in front of our usual waiting place. Right in front of a column plastered with flyers so Joel could lean against it."What about you? Are you working at the store?" He was referring to the record store I'd first started working at when I got to New York five years ago."Yeah. Andi and I have to go pick up some donations and that's pretty much it. I'll probably cook some dinner for us or go out for drinks, and then go to sleep." My response was direct, I didn't want to leave room for the question I knew was at the tip of his tongue. "What abou-" Strands of my long brown hair whipped my face as the subway zooms in front of us, rushing to a stop. Talk about perfect timing. I shuffled to the edge of the platform knowing Joel is following right behind me. Thankfully I was able to avoid his question as the doors opened, and the late-night group of people spilled out of the cart. Quickly, with a glance behind me to make sure Joel was keeping up, I walked inside and made my way to our spot in the front."So, how's Pillar?" I asked him to change the subject as he blew a puff of air out sitting down beside me. "Pillar?" He questioned as if he doesn't talk about this woman every week. My eyes nearly reached the back of my head as I rolled them, turning to him I said, "Pillar, the woman you gush about all the time.""Oh yes, she, um well, she hasn't talked to me since Sunday." His lips thinned, I guess I should've pretended like I didn't know her either. "Why's that?""I pounded on her wall Saturday night- or I should say Sunday morning because her TV was so goddamn loud." I smirked. Joel was a wise one. Always talking about his love life and this woman who he loved that wouldn't talk to him for some silly reason. I shrugged, "Well maybe you should turn the volume up on your TV in the morning so she knows what it feels like and then who knows, maybe the next thing that pounds the wall won't be a fist." A grin spreading across my face. I couldn't help it, my mind was a dirty place and although Joel was like a father figure to me, I liked to tease him with my...jokes every once in a while."Tyler Ariana Abrams," His attempt at a straight face failed as soon as his upper lip began to curl. My shoulders shook as I threw my head back and laughed. It was too easy."I- How does one go from turning up the volume to-" He lowered his head and whispered, "having sexual intercourse with their neighbor?" I only laughed harder, earning a few glances from the people around us."I hate you." Joel murmured facing forward. I bumped his shoulder with my own, "I hate you too." A smile on my face that began to fade as my thoughts began to take me back to when my father and I would say that to each other.I didn't mean to say it to Joel. That was one thing my father and I shared, used to share. It was a joke but ours nonetheless. It slipped out and I knew Joel noticed my change in mood as he began to sing Hawaiian Wedding Song by Andy Williams.The sudden stop of the subway lured me away from my thoughts. We reached Harlem. "You good?" Joel asked as we stood from our seats.I plastered a smile on my face and turned to look at him as we moved forward, "Yup."A few minutes later, we reached the outside of Joel's apartment complex. The night, cold.My fingers had thawed out a bit in the subway but now back outside, they were beginning to tingle. I was too stubborn to take Joel's gloves when he'd first offered earlier and I sure as hell would not be accepting them now as he offered them to me again.Shaking his head at my rejection, he said "Next time I'm walking you to your apartment." He always said this, we walked home together every night after my shift. More like I walked him home.The sole of my shoe found a small pebble on the ground to kick, "No you know the routine Joel, either I walk you to your home first or we don't walk together." Truthfully, I didn't have a reason to not let him walk me home. It wasn't because I was afraid he knew where I live, I know that for sure. I'd invited him over before. "I don't understand you kid." Telling by his tone I knew he was genuinely confused. I shrugged. "That makes two of us," I began walking backwards in the direction of my apartment. Lifting my pointer and middle finger I saluted him before I turned around.I heard a faint chuckle as his boots stomped up the steps to the building. Reaching my hand into the small multi fabric bag I carried on my shoulder, I pulled out my headphones and plugged them into my iPhone. Music was the one and only constant. I didn't have much to hold onto in my twenty-two years of life, but the sound of someone's voice paired with instruments composed a certain way, made me feel so many emotions, I couldn't feel in any other way. Music was everywhere and so diverse. I often came across people who neglected that. Aretha Franklin's voice overtook all the noise swarming my head.It's perfect, her voice, the beat, everything. All my confusion and problems melted away as I strolled the four blocks to my apartment.Realistically, I could save myself the walking by staying on the subway but I liked knowing Joel had made it safely home, but more than that, I liked to view the city with music as a filter.Finally I came to a stop at the stairs outside my complex, Billy Joel singing Vienna to me. I picked my apartment key out of my bag and inserted it into the main door lock jiggling it around to open the door.Living with my best friend Andi has been a blessing. When I first came to the city I only had my cousin Riley and her boyfriend. To keep it short, when I began working at Champs record store, Andi, and I bumped heads. Literally. Since then we've been inseparable. Truthfully, he's the only person in this city besides Riley and Joel, that I've let into my life. It wasn't easy. Andi pried until I cracked open, but I'm thankful he did. Because I'd be drowning in my problems if it weren't for his emotional support. Though sometimes it was still overwhelming. I'm trying to learn how to be more open and accepting of other relationships.We've been each other's best friends for the last five years, but I know that when the time comes, he'll find someone he'll want to spend the rest of his life with and eventually leave me as well. And although the thought of him leaving breaks my heart, I know it's his dream in life. I take my time walking up the staircase.I'm tired as fuck, but I don't like to rush this part of my coming home. I appreciate the tranquility it brings me and plus Billy wasn't done singing to me.We don't live in the best building, it's more than well worn in. Our landlord, like many others in the city, was a shitty landlord. Our apartment has leaks and sometimes our water stops running. But Andi and I love it.We've made it home. As the song came to an end, I stood outside our door and twisted the doorknob a few times until it opened. It was as quiet as a New York apartment could get, which could only mean Andi is fast asleep. I tried my best to make as little noise as possible, which is a bit of a hassle considering how squeaky our floors are. Placing my bag on the kitchen counter, I poured myself some water from the Britta, added some ice, and grabbed a quick snack I made the day before.The apartment isn't the biggest but the living room and kitchen have an open concept looking out to a pretty darn great view. Considering we were in Manhattan this view was a steal. To the left of the kitchen and living room was a hall that led to both rooms and the one bathroom we shared. To the right of the living room, was a small closet.All in all it was liveable and I was grateful. I dropped my snack and water on my wooden nightstand and walked back to the bathroom to get ready for bed.After rinsing my makeup off, and brushing my teeth I made my way back to my room to change into some sleep pants, fuzzy animal socks, and a large Tee that belonged to my father. My room doesn't have much to offer, a few pictures of my cousin Riley and I, Andi and me at the record store and one of five-year-old me touching noses with my father.But the one thing I love in here besides the picture of my father and I, was my bed. A queen that cost a pretty penny but totally worth it. I didn't have anything like this growing up. And the best I had when I first moved in here with Riley was a couch. So I'm aware of how blessed I am to have my very comfortable bed.Pushing the plain gray covers back, I crawled in and plugged my phone to charge on the nightstand. I lay back down to have my head swallowed by the four pillows I have.New York was loud, there was a reason it was known as the city that never sleeps. And although I was exhausted and was used to the constant noise outside, the dread of what tomorrow brought was what would be keeping me awake all night.I forced my eyes shut and did the breathing exercises Riley's best friend Quinn -who was studying to become a therapist- taught me all those years ago. Tomorrow was going to bring me a lot of pain and grief that I was still trying to process. And especially the feeling of hopelessness. But I would get through it, to prove to myself that this world couldn't take any more from me. Not even my strength.

A/N: Hi guys! Thank you for reading this chapter, it means a lot to me that you're giving this story a shot. I'm super thankful for all of my friends that have helped me with this idea. I love you guys so much. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this :-) - Lina