Sinful Pleasure//Lisoo 리수 (On Hold Indefinitely)

‡Chap.12: Negation and Hope‡

I was in the bathtub, Lalisa's words still flying through my brain, had I really betrayed my Lord and my Vote? Had I really failed my purpose?

I really didn't want it to be true.

Yet, a part of me, know it was. I couldn't deny what my body enjoyed and sickening enough, craved. I never thought I was that weak, so easy to corrupt, to break, to... Mold? She really wanted me to be her sex slave, live for her pleasure and to serve her. But I couldn't bring myself to do that, to degrade myself like that, to give up, to turn my back to my Lord and Church and Faith.

I shook my head and lightly slapped my face «No Jisoo. You won't give up. You'll be able to make Lisa change. And all the suffering will be worthy.» I encouraged myself for then quickly get done with what was I doing.
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.
.
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I was staring at my room door wondering if I could go out or not. I shrugged and decided to go out, I could move around if I didn't ran away, right?

I opened the door and went outside, I was wearing clothes this time since Lisa wasn't around nor told me anything, trying to be as covered as possible.

I started wandering around the mansion exploring my surroundings, it was so big I could really get lost. Why was such a huge place needed for one person? Sure she had friends over sometimes, but it was still too huge. I shrugged the thought off though, as it wasn't really something to be stuck on.

Dear God... What should I do now? What if Lisa is really right? No! It's impossible! It must be impossible! I'm not this weak! Maybe... Maybe I can still save her and myself...

What if... What if I try to play along her sick game? Would things change? Would I get closer to her and be able to change her? I should try... I have nothing left to lose anyway...

While walking down some corridor that lead to only Lalisa knew, I met Chaeyoung who turned around and smiled «Hello Jisoo! What are you doing here?»
«Hi, I'm just taking a small walk. I have too many thoughts... You?»
She shrugged «Just chilling. Waiting for Jennie to come back. Wanna talk? I might have been kicked out from heaven but I'm still a nice person.»
I gave her a small smile «I would like that if you have time to share with me that is.»
She nodded «Of course I do! Let's go to Jennie and mine room.»
I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion as she gently grabbed my hand and pulled me «You two live here?»
The blonde nodded «Only because we're great friends. Plus, Lisa and Jennie are like sisters and this mansion is so huge that we all live here just fine. You're actually the first girl Lisa aloud to stay permanently. Usually the people she brought back were some fuck toys she got tired rather quickly. But hey, no judging, if she's happy I'm happy.»

We quickly reached her room and I looked around amazed «Woah, you have such a beautiful room. I thought Jennie would have preferred something... Darker.»

«She does. But I don't, so we compromised and that's what we got. And by compromised I mean, I started acting like a victim by saying that I had to leave everything for her. But don't worry she likes it now, it just took her a looooong time to get used to it.»

I nodded and sat on one of the couches, folding my hands on my lap, while Chaeyoung lazily sat down spreading her legs «So what's going on through your brain?»
I sighed «Too much for my liking dear Chaeyoung. But as of now I'm really worried that Lalisa's words are true.»
She raised an eyebrow «About what?»
I sighed again and explained for then saying «Can you understand Chaeyoung? It goes against everything! And that's not me! And the only reason I got involved with Lalisa was to save her but I didn't know all of this would happen. What if she's right, will the Lord never forgive me?»
«Well, I don't know if God changed His mind but, I think that He isn't mad or disappointed. I'm pretty sure He understands the situation you're in. It's not something you can control and your body enjoying what Lisa does it's just a natural reaction. I think that as long as you don't change your mindset you're good. He knows you're trying to save a corrupted soul and He's probably giving you His full support, as much as He can. But where we are now, He can't do much. It's not it's place to rule over. It's Lucifer's. Sure this isn't exactly Hell but it's part of it. But, as long as you don't succumb even mentally and remember your purpose you'll be just fine.»
I nodded, I felt kinda relieved, Chaeyoung's words were true after all «But... What if maybe, just supposedly talking, Lalisa is the one to turn me into someone like her? What would happen?»
Chaeyoung shrugged «I don't really know, but I guess you'll be living here like me, only that you'll live to serve Lisa eternally. It's not bad if that's what would, supposedly, work for you. I just hope you'll never fall in love with her. Because Lisa isn't someone who does love. She may have a partner, but there won't be that love love, only affection and care, friendly love, but nothing serious.»
I quickly shook my head «I could never fall for someone like her! And she won't win! I'll be able to complete my mission, I'll save her, I will make things right.»
«And how do you think to get closer to Lisa?»
I bit my lower lip and looked down «I... I will play her game... I'll try to be what she wants me to be, without her hopefully finding out that I'm lying to her....»
Chaeyoung placed one hand over mine «That's dangerous Jisoo. By playing her game you might slowly, subconsciously become what she aims you to be.»
«She won't! I won't succumb. I won't.»
«I hope you will make it. Good luck Jisoo. You'll really need it.» I smiled and hugged Chaeyoung who hugged me back
«Thank you. It feels good to have someone like you here.»

«And what do you think you're doing with my Chaeyoung?» Jennie's cold voice echoed in the room as the two quickly pulled away, Jisoo squirming uncomfortably, while Chaeyoung stood up and smiling went to her lover
«Hi beautiful! Welcome back!» she pecked her lips as Jennie wrapped her arms possessively around her other half
«So what's up?»
Chaeyoung said «Don't worry. It's just that Jisoo needed someone to talk to and some advices.»
Jennie nodded and looked at me stating «Lili's looking for you. You should go.»
My eyes widened, I stood up and gulped «Chaeyoung...» I looked at her nervously, she smiled and said
«Good luck! Fighting Jisoo!»
I gave a small smile back «I'm scared.» I confessed as she said
«It's okay. Just hold on.»

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