Where Are You Now?

Without Me

Chapter 34

Michelle's P.O.V

"Hey, you don't look okay. Is everything fine?" Chloe asks once we leave the car.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine just tired." I tell her since I couldn't sleep at all.

I just spent this weekend wide awake, overthinking about every little detail and for some reason hoping to see him even though I didn't leave the house.

"Okay." She says smiling at me while entering the school. "It's the beginning of December." She tells me cheerfully and my eyes widen. I have never really thought about it. Isn't December supposed to be cheerful and exciting?

Why I don't feel this way?

"Hey." I hear George's voice coming from behind and we both turn to see him with Zack.

"Hi." Chloe greets him back smiling and I give him a warm smile. "How are you two doing?" George asks smiling but before any of us could answer him Zack says something.

"Michelle, may I talk to you for a second?" He says ignoring the rest and I nod. He walks a few steps away to a less crowded part in the corridor and I follow him.

"Are you okay?" He asks eyeing me carefully. "Yes." I answer him knowing I'm not telling the truth.

"Are you sure?" He asks hoping he would just drop this question. "Yes, I'm sure." I answer him forcing a smile.

"Is he... is he here? Josh is he here?" I ask him. This is the first time I'm able to say his name after what seemed like the longest weekend and somehow it manages to hurt me like a knife.

"Yes , he..." He starts but gets interrupted by the bell and yes is everything I hoped for.

"I'll see you later." I tell him once he doesn't say anything. "Okay." He agrees and I rush through the crowded corridors to my first class which I have it with him.

Terrified is the feeling that I'm feeling right now. Is he going to be with her in that class? He knows how that would hurt me anyway.

I enter the class and comfort replaces fear once I see him sitting in the back next to an empty seat

I sit next to him without saying any word to him and the class starts once Mrs. Watson enters.

"Michelle." He calls me after a few minutes.

"Yeah?" I answer pretending to be paying attention. "How are you?" He asks staring at me.

How are you? He asks me but how many times this simple question meant how are you doing without me?

"I'm fine." I answer him still looking at the teacher. "You?" I ask after a few seconds. "I'm good." He answers looking at me then back at the teacher.

Is good stronger than fine?

"Can we at least be friends?" He asks looking at the teacher and my heart drops.

How could you be friends with someone you love?

"I can't be your friend." I answer him softly. "Why not?" He asks looking at me frowning.

"I can't, you only want to hurt me." I answer knowing how painful this is.

"I want to protect you, let us just at least be friends." He softly says looking at me. "I love you way too much to be your friend." I answer him truthfully before I notice Sasha is sitting in front of us.

"I love you much more." He softly says and she jumps at his answer knowing she was listening to everything we have been saying.

"Then you know we can't be friends." I tell him looking at the teacher and completely ignoring her. I want her to listen; I want her to know that he is mine. No matter how selfish and possessive this sounds, I want her to know.

"If that's the only way you'll let me stay next to you then I can be your friend." He says looking at me." I don't trust you to be anywhere near me or in my life, Josh. You will always want to break me and hurt me. This is you; this is your way of loving." I tell him knowing how cruel I sounded by the look on his face.

"Ms. Sumpter? Am I interrupting something back there?" Mrs. Watson asks and I look at her to find the whole class is looking at us. "No, I'm sorry." I answer her and he excuses himself before leaving the class.

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