we'll live to tell the tale (l.s.)

we all have souls of different ages

tw// eating disorder talk , anxiety

i hope you enjoy this! it took me a long ass time to write, ngl. gonna ignore the fact that i fell asleep while doing it. thank you goldentattookiss on ao3 for being lovely as always. 

-

the rest of the morning was spent reading—louis began a pale view of hills while harry read the beautiful and the damned. he'd always owned the book with the intention to read it, but never actually got around to doing so. life moved too fast and other things would always declare themselves of more importance.

actually, despite his love for literature, harry hadn't read seriously before meeting louis in months. he'd wanted to focus on his classes, practicing the guitar, and writing music. he gave up reading in his free time to spend hours staring at blank pages, willing words to write themselves as time passed. but as if the fairies responsible for creativity were against him, he found that verses would only flow out of him like the blood that pumped through his veins after he met louis. even though he had been spending less time trying to force it out of himself, it all came naturally as soon as he closed his eyes and drowned in the blueblueblue.

zayn arrived shortly after the next tray was brought in for louis' lunch, which was a cuban sandwich with another plastic bag with potato chips and a cup of dense brown liquid, just like the one that was brought to him that morning.

"how are you feeling?" he asked softly as he walked in. harry had already texted him that louis was awake. "you had us worried sick."

"sorry. i didn't mean for that to happen when we were hanging out."

"of course not. that's not what i meant—it's not your fault. happens, mate. just want you to be safe and healthy, is all."

"thanks, z. but i'm fine."

"all evidence says otherwise, but i'll just leave it at that."

they fell silent after that, harry still reading in the corner, too lost in f. scott fitzgerald's words to care about what was going on around him. louis still had not touched his sandwich, tray still laying drearily on his lap. zayn wanted to say something about it, but hadn't, only able to glance at harry with his eyebrows knit together; a gesture that was wholly ignored.

louis noticed the dark circles that seemed to have settled beneath zayn's golden eyes, ones that had not been there before, and softened. "thanks again, though. for, you know. bringing me here. coming to see me. caring. the usual."

"of course. i'm sorry for not having reached out to you more in the past few months. especially when i knew you were having a tough time. god, i'm so glad harry came along. who knows what would've happened if you were alone in your apartment with nobody to check on you, and you-"

zayn's words were interrupted by harry, who had slammed his book shut; the sound resonated in the room, ringing almost emptily on the bare walls of the hospital. "well it didn't," he stated coldly, "and no one wants to think about that."

"s-sorry. i didn't mean to upset you. that was a rash thing for me to say."

the younger boy stood up from his chair and set himself at the edge of louis' bed. he leaned in close to him, feeling the other stiffen at his touch. "eat your food, love. i'm here."

zayn only watched these moments unfold, not wanting to disturb the two. it was as if they were in their own little universe where nothing else mattered. a place pure and warm and silken. the moment was cut short, however, by a knock yet again, and dr. demarest had returned to have another dig at trying to get more out of louis.