Caged In

Caged In: 1

1

I glanced around me, the lampposts providing little light in these dark, unforgiving streets, and I felt my heart quicken. I'm not usually a jumpy person, but I couldn't help but feel my stomach knot and unknot over and over inside me, my nerves entirely on edge. I didn't usually get so scared coming back from Jamal's, but I didn't usually have an empty house waiting for me. Nor was there usually a headline reading DEATH TOLL RISES AS VICIOUS NEW GANG STRIKES AGAIN, in the very neighbourhood I found myself in.

Or, y'know, it was all in my head. Possible, seeing as everyone I knew was sure I was crazy.

An 'unhinged mind' ran in my family. My Gran was entirely doolallly, convinced she could see ghosts and such. She talked to photos as though they answered, and said little, if not nothing, to anyone else, just stared at her hands all day, a vacant expression crossing her face. This had been her tendency since she was around 30. In the end, she found herself happier among the deceased than the living, unsurprising seeing as she was holed up living in a mental hospital, so she killed herself and the nurse looking after her. She'd been caged in all her life in her own body. Now she was free.

My aunt's mind wasn't quite right either. She'd taken on Gran's habit of staring at her hands, saying nothing. She often hallucinated, and every so often, she would have a 'funny turn', during which she would scream at the wall violently, screeching things I never want to repeat.

And my brother. He was... unthinkable. He walked everywhere, looking at his hands. He made no friends, he talked to no one, not even his own family. Not even me. He lived in a children's mental hospital, as the nurses were worried he'd take on the dangerous characteristics of my Gran and Aunt.

But me? No one knew me. No one wanted to know me. I was the girl who was a prisoner in her own head. I didn't know if I was crazy. I had vivid dreams I often confused with reality, I hallucinated, only for seconds at a time, but I kept that to myself. It scared mum. And it scared me.

I had no friends, the only place I braved out of the house was Jamal's, the only place I'd ever brave. I didn't even go to school most of the time. I'd get dressed and eat breakfast and be ready, my hand on the front door handle, and then my stomach would flip, and I'd run back to my room. I only made it there around three days a week. People stared, of course, and people pointed, and some even directly asked me why I didn't live with my brother.

I wasn't scared of school. I wasn't scared of the people there. I wasn't ashamed of myself or my family at all, in fact, I walked with my head held high about it. A sort of, 'yes, I'm crazy, get over it' kind of way. But that didn't shake the feeling. I didn't like leaving my home, I didn't like stepping outside, or going somewhere new. I didn't like change. I liked being comfortable in my surroundings. I couldn't do that at school. It wasn't my home.

A bin clattered over, and I screamed, but when I looked, there was nothing there. Not even a cat. Must've been the wind. Had to have been the wind. Police sirens echoed in my ears, louder and louder, and I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the noise to disappear back inside my brain, where it belonged. I was panting, eyes rolling around the surroundings, certain there was something waiting for me. Nothing was waiting for me. It was me, just me. Just my mind.

I started walking then, and couldn't remember when I'd stopped. I heard footsteps, shouts, and gunshots. I blinked, waiting for the noises to go, but they didn't. I spun on the spot, and stared. Someone came flying round the corner, the fastest sprinter I'd ever seen, eyes fixed on a point way beyond me. On the other side of the road, two more runners flew around the corner, balaclavas pulled over their faces, all in black, both with a gun in each hand.

Violence on either side of the pavement, and me, stood in the road, between them. I didn't know if it was real or my scariest hallucination yet, but either way I screamed and began running the other way, until the gunshots. I spun, and saw the unarmed sprinter on the floor, his shoulder leaking dark, red blood. His eyes were still open, and he was twitching on the floor.

I bent down to him, and pushed off his jacket, to see a white t-shirt, stained deep red by his shoulder. I swallowed my scream, and watched the tears fall from my eyes. I didn't know why I was crying, I didn't understand myself. I was shaking, breathing as deeply as I could manage, which isn't very when you think you can feel your lungs filling with blood from the bullet you didn't take.

I was surprised to see when I looked at his face that his eyes were still open. He was shaking, a hand pressed firmly into his shoulder, trying to stop the blood flow. I fumbled in my pockets for my mobile, and dialled 999.

"How may I direct your call?"

"I need an ambulance!!" I shouted into the phone, feeling my voice shake.

"Calm down miss, what happened?" The operator said with an annoyingly even tone

"I just saw someone get shot, he's still, still breathing." I replied, trying to control my shaking.

"Where are you?"

"I- I don't know the street name, near Jamal's café, in- in the side of town with- with-" But I couldn't say murders. That would confirm that the boy in front of me was going to die. I couldn't let that happen.

"We'll be with you in minutes. Keep him breathing. Put pressure on the wound with something clean."

And with that, I hung up. I pulled off my jumper, clean on tonight, and pressed it to his shoulder, prying his hand off it.

"W-who, who," He began, but couldn't finish, his breathing shallow and uneven.

"Amelia. My name is Amelia. And what about you? What's your name?" I asked, forcing a smile onto my face, pushing a hair out of my eyes.

"L-lee." He gasped, his chest rising and falling far too quickly. Where was the ambulance??

"It's ok, Lee, I've got you. I won't let go. I won't let you go." I said, taking his blood-stained hand in mine, surprised by the strength in his grip. He wasn't going to let go without a fight either. I kept eye-contact with him. I wasn't going to look anywhere else. I wouldn't let him look anywhere else. If he did, what if he never looked back?

I felt arms on my elbows, trying to pull me back, away from him.

"No!" I yelled, hearing a double timbre to my voice. Lee had shouted no at the same moment. He didn't want to let go either. "I can't leave him, he-" I turned back to him. He'd never stopped staring at me. He looked me straight in the eye, his shaking momentarily slowing, and parted his lips to utter a single word.

"Stay."

The woman who'd tried to pry me off him let go, and started loading him into the ambulance. It seemed kind of hard for her, seeing as I was refusing to let my grip slacken, even for a second. I didn't care. As soon as he was on, I jumped into the ambulance with him. I glanced at the time, but realised I didn't care.

An empty house wouldn't miss me.

He would.