If Only (Book 1)

part 1

Warning: Attempt/mention of suicide .

Sitting in her usual spot and pulling out a cigarette, Tzuyu waits for someone to burst through the door.

It was an usual evening. The sky was clear, the air was fresh. Of course, it was the middle of September in Philippines, but that wasn't normal for Tzuyu considering she grew up in Manila, where it was annoyingly warm this time around.

But that , she was used to.

She was accustomed to the heat and the rain during summer, and the more bearable temperatures of spring. The only other season that they had there. She liked it, and that was all she liked about Manila.

She's standing in a corner that looks out to the quiet neighborhood she lived in. She realizes she should've brought more sweaters as she still shivers in the thickest one she could find.

But she didn't have much time to pack anyway.

Tzuyu finishes the cigarette, flicking it next to her foot and grinding it into the cement. She stands there minute.

There isn't another soul on the roof, not even the girl that was always there.

Hysterical and suicidal, but there.

Tzuyu had noticed her the first day.

She'd walk to the end of the rooftop and cry for ten minutes, then stare absentmindedly at the street below her. And It was like that every day since. She would stand at the ledge, but never jump. She wouldn't do anything except breathe.

Yet even that seemed too difficult.

Tzuyu always waited though. She always stayed in case the girl did decide anything.

But today, the girl, as uncommon as the evening, is not here.

Tzuyu dusts her fingers off and sprays on some perfume. Maybe the stranger figured out a better way of handling her problems, whatever they were.

She waits a couple of seconds before heading to the door. But almost as if on cue, the door flies open and the unpunctual girl runs to the balcony. She looks down, but this time she doesn't just stand there, she carefully sits on the ledge. Still hesitant.

Tzuyu furrows her eyebrows, but soon finds herself tip toeing toward the ledge. She can hear the girl sniffle as she gets closer.

Maybe she didn't want to jump, but she could still fall. So Tzuyu grabs her anyway. As tight as she can and brings her back on to the roof.

"What the fuck?"

"Are you ok?" Tzuyu ignores.

"No. Some fucking weirdo just tried to kidnap me."

Tzuyu opens her mouth to comment on the accusation, but decides against it given the situation. "I didn't want you to fall." She says instead. To which the girl scoffs. "I wasn't gonna fall."

Tzuyu nods, "Right. You were just going to jump."

"What?" The girl asks, noticing the sarcasm in her voice.

"I've literally seen you come up here for the past week and stand at the ledge. You were going to jump, weren't you?"

It's almost condescending, but Tzuyu hated it when people played dumb, especially when they knew exactly what she was talking about.

"So you've been stalking me?"

"Stalking you? I literally come up here to smoke but you always ruin it."

The girls looks away. Toward the ground before sitting. Her head against the ledge. "Are you coming back inside?" Tzuyu asks, to which the girl shakes her head.

"Then...do you want me to stay?"

"You don't have to."

Tzuyu was hesitant, but she was also exhausted. "You're just gonna stay here all night by yourself?"

"It wouldn't be the first time."

"Aren't you cold?"

"It's like 60 degrees!" The girl laughs.

"That's cold."

"You're not from here, are you?"

"No. Taiwan. I and my family just moved here"

"Oooooh. You must be used to always going swimming and wearing shorts and a tank top then."

Tzuyu nods.

"Well, I like the cold anyway. Manila is cool"

"Do you want a blanket or something?"

"Just go to sleep."

And with that Tzuyu left. She believed the girl when she said she wouldn't try anything, but then again, Tzuyu believed a lot of things that turned out to not be true. For all she knew, the blunt girl could've jumped the second the door closed. She'd have to find out in the morning though, right now all she wanted to do was sleep.