Brax One-shot [Fairy Tail]

insert chapter title here lol

It was just a normal day like any other in the Fairy Tail guild.

Gray was stripping, Cana was drinking, Juvia was stalking Gray, Natsu was trying to pick a fight, Mira was thinking about her OTPS, Elfman talking about "being a man" or whatever, Nab still lingering at the request board, and anything else you'd expect to be in the guild.

And then there was Max, being forever alone like always.

Then someone-or something-bursted through the main entrance doors.

It was the most amazing broom Max had ever laid eyes on. Even little hearts appeared in his eyes.

The broom's perfectly polished handle was one any forever alone person would die for, and its tassels were oh ever so neat and perfect. (A/N it felt so weird writing that lmao)

The broom hopped on its own through the center of the guild and yelled, "WHERE IS YOUR GUILD MASTER?"

Everyone in the guild looked extremely surprised. "N-NANI?!?!?!" They all yelled.

Then the entire guild went silent until a certain bartender spoke up. "Oh hello, broom! We've been expecting you!" said Mirajane, like there wasn't a talking broom
in the middle of the guild hall. "Follow me and I'll take you to him," she smiled.

Every Mage in the guild stared at the broom with eyes as wide as saucers. No one knew what the fuck was going on. Don't ask me, either, I'm just narrating this shit.

Anyways, a few minutes later, the broom came back into the main hall and the guild went silent yet again. What is it with these people and going silent?

The broom had- THE FAIRY TAIL INSIGNIA ON ITS HANDLE?!?!

Just when it couldn't get any weirder, Makarov jumped off the balcony and landed on the bar. He cleared his throat and yelled, "LISTEN UP BRATS, THIS IS THE GUILDS NEWEST MEMBER, BROOM!!!!!"

"..."

"OMG WOW ITS SO BEAUTIFUL", Max yelled. And yes he did just say "OMG".

The broom glanced over at Max, then getting hearts in the place where its eyes would be. Then it immediately snapped out of its trance.

Max walked over to the broom, attempting to flirt with it, and said, "Hey there you sexy lil broom." He winked and added "I would sweep the dance with you, if you know what I mean"

"Dude what the fuck" said the broom, blushing. Using its broom magic out of embarrassment, the broom whacked away Max to the other side of the guild. He landed in the wall with a loud CRASH and passed out.

Then the broom picked up Max and took him to his house.

Max woke up an hour later and found the broom asleep next to him. It turns out the broom laid him down.

"Oi!! Broom!!" Max whisper-yelled.

The broom woke up, and realizing its position, jumped out of bed, apologizing multiple times.

Then Max kissed it.

They made out for 5 minutes, and did some other things I'm not comfortable writing about in description. Then the broom broke the kiss.

"Max, there's something you should know"

"Yes?"

"I'm a male broom."

"NANI??!?!?!!?!???"

~*~

I have no idea what I just wrote.