If Only (Book 1)

part 11

There are five stalls in the bathroom behind the auditorium. Four are empty, and one is occupied by Tzuyu, who couldn't be more relaxed. Her eyes feel droopy, and if she didn't have to go out and perform in twenty minutes, she would have fallen asleep. She carefully pulls the syringe out of her arm, wiping away a few drops of blood. Wrapping it in a thick layer of toilet paper, to dispose of later, Tzuyu stuffs the needle into her bag.

She sits on the toilet, her head and back leaning against the wall. Dozing off ever few seconds only to abruptly open her eyes, almost falling off the seat. The door squeaks open, and a she hears an all too familiar voice. "Tzuyu?" Sana questions. "Nanaaaa!" Tzuyu eventually drags out, mostly because she had forgotten the girl's name, and partially because she was having trouble speaking. "Are you ok?" Sana is now standing outside the stall. Tzuyu sits up and rubs her face, remembering where she was. "Couldn't be better." She attempts to sound at least a bit normal. "Ok, well. I just wanted to wish you luck." Sana says, but when Tzuyu doesn't respond, she hears light footsteps exit the bathroom. She attempts to stand up, having a hard time making her way to the sink. Splashing cold water on to her face, Tzuyu notices the small size of her pupils, and wonders if she'll even be able to play. She knows that a lower dosage would have been a better idea.

Stepping out into the backstage area, she's greeted by other musicians. She has the effects under control now, and manages to have simple conversations with them.

Three minutes left until Tzuyu's performance, and the small amount of regret she had before completely vanishes. She's happy, excited to play her first piece. She hums lowly, the tune to the song. "Are you ready?" Her piano instructors smiles as she rubs Tzuyu's back. Tzuyu nods, and walks onto the stage. The floor boards creaking under her weight echo throughout the silent auditorium. All eyes are on Tzuyu, and she knows, and normally she would be sweating, nervous, her heart would be pounding, but none of that is happening tonight. That's one of the reasons she didn't want to stop. One of the reasons she couldn't.

Her fingers gracefully dance on the black keys, the white keys. Arpeggios and chords. Slow and fast. It's beautiful, Tzuyu concludes as she sways along to the melody. It's beautiful, she infers, when the crowd cheers, when some even cry. She stands up and bows, slightly loosing her balance. And she feels amazing. And she doesn't want it to end, and it won't. Until the drug leaves her system. Then life will go back to normal. Her boring, sad, normal life.

She leaves the stage, and she meets her family who bring her flowers. They're proud. For once they're proud. She smiles as she finds Sana. Inclined against the wall, her arms crossed, away from everyone else. "Well, who knew you were actually good at something." Tzuyu only shrugs. "That was great." Sana compliments. She looks at Tzuyu admiringly, and Tzuyu smiles. Ever since the other night, ever since Sana's confession, Tzuyu felt closer to the girl. And she was sure Sana did too. She was more warm, although still as reserved, but not angry.

Jennie appears, causing Tzuyu's face to light up. The girl hugs her tightly, and Sana feels uncomfortable with their affection. Not because they're both girls and she found it unnatural, but merely because the thought of Tzuyu having a girlfriend made her uncomfortable. As simple as that. She has grown to like their friendship. She likes the fact that Tzuyu never pressured her to talk about her feelings, how they could talk about anything and Tzuyu wouldn't judge, how Sana could suggest something crazy to do, like sky dive, and Tzuyu would most likely be up for it. Her lips curve at the thought of seeing Tzuyu jump out of an airplane. She and Jennie continue to talk, and Sana finds a seat somewhere faraway, pulling out her phone, she scrolls down the Tumblr app.

She watches Tzuyu's glassy eyes stare at Jennie as if she's the best thing in the world. That's something Sana loved, yet hated about her friend. She looked at people, and only saw good, but humans aren't always good. They will hurt you. Ruin you. Tear you to pieces even, and she hoped that never happened to Tzuyu.

She was Sana's only friend, and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she trusted her. Sometimes, she just wanted to spill her heart out to the girl, because she will listen. She will listen and care. And Sana cares. She cares now. And as she looks at Tzuyu once more, she realizes she's fucked. So fucked.

"Hey, I've never seen you here before." A blonde haired guy, wearing too much cologne sits next to Sana. There's a smug grin on his face that she finds annoying already. Sana doesn't say anything, but the guy is persistent, and her eyes wonder to most persistent person she knows, who is still occupied by the same girl. "I'm Sehun," He continues. Sana smiles, not wanting to seem rude. "What's your name?" She parts her lips to tell him she's not interested, but seeing that Tzuyu would still be a while she decides to talk to him. After all, he was cute. "I'm Sana." He smirks, "Thats a nice name. Do you have a phone number to go with it?" Sana bursts into laughter at what she assumes is a pick up line. Creating a few irritated stares, "Oh god, I'm sorry!" She says in between laughs, "it's just that that was the most stupidest line I've ever heard."

The guys face drops, and Sana immediately apologizes. "Here," she holds out her hand for Sehun to place his phone in. Smiling at him once she saves her number. "Thanks, I'll call you tomorrow?" Sana nods, and bids goodbye to him.

Soon after, Tzuyu appears. "Who was that?" She watches Sehun leave Sana's side. "Sehun." Tzuyu smirks, and wiggles her eyebrows. "Did he ask you out?" Sana nods, "Well, for my number. It was honestly really stupid but he's cute so-"

Tzuyu nods in a approval.

"You and Jennie were talking for quite a while." Sana changes the subject, and Tzuyu seems to smile when someone even mentions her name. "Yeah, she's...she's great." Was she? She probably was. So, why did Sana find her annoying?

When they get home, it's well after nine P.M. Tzuyu's parents left right after they gave her the gift, but she decided to stay to talk to some of the other people, and Sana was plastered to her side pretty much the entire time. They both agree to go straight to bed. Tzuyu even walks Sana all the way to her apartment. They say goodnight, and Tzuyu waits for Sana to go inside before walking up a flight of stairs to her own house. She's exhausted. For what reason, Tzuyu doesn't know. The drug had lost its effect almost twenty minutes ago. She can barely climb the last couple of steps, but somehow she does. Plopping onto her bed, she drifts off to sleep without even taking off her shoes.