A Fool's New Beginning

Chapter 0 - One Shot

          Drawing the same picture twice is never easy.

          My name is Von, and I've been living alone for a while now. Strangely. I don't remember anything. I only remember my name and previous job. The last thing I remember is a car accident. I don't remember the details but I can remember that I was holding a girl covered in blood. The doctors said that my girlfriend couldn't make it but it doesn't really bother me because I don't know her. As for my family, the doctors said that they couldn't contact any of my relatives, or if I ever have one. The only family member I have now is Chris, my cat. I've became a shut-in after I woke up because it seems like money is not a problem for me. To be completely honest, living like this doesn't bother me. I wish I could live like this for the rest of my life. My past never bothered me one bit. The nurse that checks on me from time to time said that maybe I should find out what happened in my past because there may be memories that I don't really want to forget. I didn't really understand what she said there but I couldn't care less. She jokes about a lot of stuff. But sometimes, her humor is too dark for me. I don't know what her background is as to why her humor is so dark, but all I know is that she's beautiful. She's like the most beautiful nurse at the hospital. She's not that tall, has blonde hair, doesn't wear that much make up but I can see she's trying her best to cover a burn mark on her right eye with hair and makeup. She also wears glasses but I think those were fake.

          I thought I'm living a pretty normal life. I thought that it's normal to have all these trophies, awards, and a lot of money. I thought it's normal to play video games all day. I don't have many friends though. The only friends that I have are the ones who play games with me. I plan to live like this until the day I die, but then, one thing happened after another.

          I haven't really met my friends in real life. My set of friends is somewhat unique. I have a queer friend named Ken. The brother-and-sister Bonnie and Clyde. And a mysterious girl named Kris. As I was surfing the net, an ad caught my attention. It was about a game that Ken was talking about. Apparently, a game store nearby is selling copies so I thought that maybe I should buy one. I grabbed my jacket and took off. When I got there, the game store was packed and I started to question whether if it was worth it or not. I wandered around the store for a little bit just to hear a familiar voice. I couldn't track where the voice was coming from but I didn't really care that much. I got hungry after a while so I went somewhere to eat first before coming home. When I was at the resto, I heard that familiar voice again. Now I'm curious. I looked around me but I realized I look suspicious and got embarrassed. I walked out of the restaurant with shame.

Later that night, I asked my friends if they ever want to meet in real life. I was really eager to meet them. I suggested that we meet at my place so we can play games together. I could sense that they weren't as excited as me. But they all agreed anyway. Then a week after, they all went here together. I was really surprised when I found out that my nurse is actually one of my internet friends. She was also the familiar voice I heard at the game store and at the resto. I thought it was strange, but she was acting like she's surprised. Though it's pretty obvious that she isn't. I just ignored it and carried on. At first meet, I was already comfortable with them. As if we've been together for years. At the end of the day, Ken asked us if we are interested in participating on a tournament. We all agreed to play and then called it a day.

          The day after, I had a headache. I thought I was just tired but I started to get dizzy too. I couldn't sleep well. I kept on hearing voices. I dreamed of my cat talking. Telling me "It's all your fault". I then woke up, crying, with my cat Chris on my chest. Maybe she sensed that I was having a bad dream so she woke me up or maybe she was just hungry. I got up to get her food and as I was walking, I heard that voice again. "Why are you running away?" A sudden chill went down my spine. Did my cat just speak? "Running away won't change things, coward." I thought I was going crazy so I went to the hospital. I saw Kris, extremely troubled in there. I wonder if something happened to her. I didn't really have the chance to ask her because I'm still creeped out. After the doctor checked on me, he said that I was just tired. He said I'm not getting enough sleep. And gave me some pills that he said will help me.

          To be honest, I'm scared of my cat now. I asked my friends if they could take care of Chris while I recover. Ken agreed to take care of the cat. Whenever I see her, I get chills. Especially when she looks at me in the eyes. After Ken took Chris, I completely shut myself from the world. I hadn't touched my phone or my computer for a week. I thought, I have all these art materials here, don't artists express themselves by painting? But I don't know how to paint. I have a room full of paintings but I don't really remember painting any of those. I don't come close to that room because whenever I do, my head starts to hurt. I started to paint. I didn't have an image in me. I splashed black and red paint on a blank canvas. I then asked myself; why didn't I do this sooner? In painting I feel free. I stroked, and stroked, and stroked my brush. An image is finally starting to appear. A cat. I painted a cat. I figured; it was my cat Chris but has red eyes. I started to tremble in fear. I tried to run away from the canvas but I tripped. When I looked back, the painting was starting to distort. It started moving. It started to speak in a distorted and deep voice. "It's all your fault. All of this wouldn't happened if you did better." I couldn't outrun it. Everywhere I go, my painting follows. The voice follows. I went to the room full of painting. It was so dark. As I went deeper, I can see a lot of portraits that has the same model. Some of the portraits are unrecognizable because of the colors. When I got at the back of the room, I saw a portrait. A portrait that is perfect. And then wondered; Why do I have portraits of Kris? I screamed. I screamed as loud as I can. But weirdly, I couldn't hear my own voice. My ears are ringing. I collapsed.

          My neighbors seemed to have heard my scream. They called the cops. They took me to the hospital. My friends rushed to the hospital. I was on the hospital bed, I lost consciousness but I can hear them argue. "None of this would've happened if it's not because of you!" Ken shouted while crying. Why is he so upset? It's not like we're brothers or something. We're just friends because of a game. "I was protecting him!" said Kris. I'm not really following. I don't know what's happening. Why is this like a big deal for them? Bonnie butted-in. "It's all our fault." The room suddenly became silent. All I can hear is their silent sobbing. I wish I could tell them to not worry. Kris whispered to me, "Hey, Von, you'll wake up, right? Please tell me you'll come back for me. Please tell me you'll come back for us. Please don't leave us a second time." A second time? Exactly what happened between all of us? I wish I knew.

          I want to wake up. It's so dark in here. I heard a someone speak behind me. "Are you ready now?" I turned back and then I saw my cat. I was intimidated. I fell down my butt. I can feel my heart beat so hard. I couldn't speak. I hear my friends call my name I think the harder my heart beat in this world, the weaker it becomes on the outside world. I have to be strong. I have to be brave. I stood up. My knees are trembling so hard. I thought of giving up. Am I finally going to die here? What a short-lived life. I can't hear the voices of my friends anymore. All I hear is a machine implying that my heart is not beating anymore. My cat attempted to tackle me and as soon as we came in contact, a lifetime flashed before my eyes. I was abandoned by my parents at a young age. An old artist took care of me and raised me. But he died when I turned 12. I didn't really know how to process emotion at that time so I didn't know what to feel. He didn't have relatives and I didn't have the money to give him a proper funeral. I was the one who buried him. After that, I did everything I could to survive using the thing he taught me; painting. I was a great artist. I'm pretty much self-made. But it felt like I'm still missing something. It feels like a big part of myself is still unclear.

          I snapped back. I saw my cat, now with blood on his mouth. "You still missed the point, huh? I guess I should take your life now." I touched my head and saw blood. I got another flashback. It was at the accident. Kris was lying in my arms. Badly wounded, especially in her right eye. She went into a coma for a month. I thought she'd never wake up. I couldn't accept that she got into that state because of me. I suffered intense trauma and drew and drew and drew 'til I made the perfect portrait of her. After drawing it, I collapsed and didn't wake up. After that, Kris woke up from her coma. How could I forget? And why didn't she tell me sooner? I snapped again. My cat was still there. "See, that wasn't that hard. I guess I have to let you go now." Chris said. I woke up at the middle of the night. I saw all my friends around me. I remember all of them now. How could I ever forget? They're the ones who helped me grow and made me feel things. Kris woke up shortly after. "Don't you ever do that again!" She shouted with joy but she was crying. Everyone else woke up because of her. They hugged me while they're crying. I'm overjoyed.

          "Sorry for worrying you. I'm back."