How Can You Describe a Dead Girl?

Part One:

        I want you to know that this isn't your fault. None of it is, and it never will be, so don't feel bad. There is nothing you can do to stop it, i mean, who can stop a dead girl right? My heart is still beating but I can promise you that I'm dead inside. There is no use in saving what is lost, am I right? Maybe there is something better planned for me. I don't know. What does a dead girl know? Nothing. Nothing crosses my mind except for these thoughts that I can't get out of my head. No matter how hard i try, they keep coming back. I'm impossible to love, love just hurts. its pointless. I'm already in hell, what can make it worse? The girl with the biggest smile holds the most pain.

It's not so bad being me. I have a great life, I have my parents and my friends to thank for that. You're probably reading this, and I want you to know that i love you. You couldn't stop it, I have depression. I know when i first told one person, she was shocked, her words were "You have depression?" yes, Hun, I do. Nothing could make it better. I had medicine to take, but it only made it worse. I can't say how i feel with my voice, so i will have to write it, well, type it.

I'm actually crying while I'm writing this, I don't know why. Do dead girls have feelings? I guess they might. Well, I might as well tell people about my life, who knows how many times I will be able to tell it. My name is Sarah Emily. My last name isn't important. I was born on November 6th. Growing up, I have one older sister, Ash. MY parents always made sure I was happy, but no matter how hard i try I just can't. I'm really sorry that I can't be. I want to be, but i can't. I fell in love half way across the world. His name isn't important. I had to make him hate me. He told me he loved me, and I knew he couldn't. It hurts. I'm crying even more thinking about it. Its's for his own good. If you love someone, set them free. Until part two...