Those fighting moments

The last time we really fought was about two years ago. It was when Tadashi tried to get me into collage and I said it would be a waste of me time. But even then, I dont think we ever had a fight like we did tonight. Never have I gotton so angry before. Never has Tadashi raised his voice that loud at me. Never have I said such hurtful things....

How did this happen again?

A year ago I bult something. It wasnt supose to do what it did but i'm glad it did. I was messing around with some spare parts we got off the island where project silent sperrow took place. It had been about a seven mounths sense the accident with the fire. Sense Tadashis death. I had found another room within the facility. The door to the room had a lable saying "Poject futrue." I slipped inside and saw another machine like thing that looked similer to the dimension gate. I dug through the lab, playing with some of the computers and messing with some of the parts. Then out of no where, there was a gust of air and some bright lights and the next thing I knew was that I was in a burning building. I looked around my heart pounding and there was a million and one questions running through my mind....when my heart stopped. "T-tadashi?" There right before my eyes was my brother. "No, this can't be."

His eyes locked with mine, they held panic and worry. "Hiro what are you doing run now!" He yelled. I couldn't even reply. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. Before I had the chance to say or do anything the gust of air and funny lights returned leaving me the same room as before. The room on the island. The machine was now covered in black looking burned and my head was light. "That was weird." I said to myself. But as I looked up I wasn't alone.

So yeah long story short I went back in time and saved my beother. Even more long story short I worked the nerve to tell him my true feelings. We got together. Moved out into a townhome (aunt Cass got a boyfriend and we felt she needed to live her life.) we haven't done anything passed a few blow jobs and a couple fingerings. And that leads up to where we are now.....our argument. I was sitting on the bed re-running everything that just happened in my mind. It still hasn't sunk into Tadashi yet that I was older and was ready for curtin things. I've asked him over and over again, why can't we have sex and he would always reply with "you are not ready." Wich is fucking bullshit. I've been ready for so long and I've wanted him so bad. So this was the night. The night I was planing on making the it clear to him that I was ready.

....But of course things didn't exactly go as planned. He came home from work about six (He graduated from collage early.) and the whole night I was trying to get him 'in the mood' but he kept holding back. Finally I had him on our bed and I was kissing him like a fuckimg lunitc when I reached under his waistband. I was ontop pushing him down trying to make him understand that I wanted- no needed this.

"Take me." I whispered out in a low voice. He instantly put his hands on my shoulders pushing me back.

"Hiro we've been over this." He looked away from my eyes. "Your not ready." I guess thats when I kinda lost it. I moved off his lap and stud up turning my back to him.

"Hiro-"

"How could you say that!" I snapped. Here I am practicly throwing myself at him and thats all he can say. "How do you know that i'm not ready? Tadashi i've been ready. We've practically done everything else there is and I know you want this as much as I do. So why?" I didn't realize I had risen my voice until he answered with a quiet sentence.

"Beacuse I know." He answered

I was so fusterated at this point. What did I have to do to get it through his head! I'm not the same weak fragile kid I use to be. I've been through so much, hell i've learned so much. Why can't he just accept this.

"I think I would know that I was ready!" I argued back.

"Hiro enough! This conversation is over!" He said in a stern voice. Usually this is where he always won. This is where I would be the good little brother an do as he said. No, not this time.

"No!"

"Excuse me?"

"No! Tadashi please i'm not a kid anymore! I don't see what the huge problem is. Its not like i'm doing it with a stranger i'm doing it with you. I know i'm only sixteen but there are people younger than me who do stuff like this only a daily basis. And its not like this is a one time thing ethier. I know you have been holding back. I know you want to fuck me. So why? Please I love you." I ranted

"Language!"

"Are you fucking kidding me!"

He moved so fast that I didn't realize he was infront of my face till I felt his warm breath on my face. He was still taller than me and I had to look up to meet his gaze. "Hiro i'm going to say this one last time. Let. It. Go."

"Your unbelievable!" I yelled.

"And I thought you were smarter than this!" He yelled back. What the fuck was that suppose mean?

"And I thought you were smart enough not to run into burning buildings but it looks like we were both wrong!" I yelled

I regretted it as soon as it left my mouth. My hand coveing it. I looked into his eyes and I saw nothing but pain. No I didn't mean that. Tadashi had a look of shock and hurt on his face and it killed me. I wanted to say I was sorry. That I didn't mean that, but nothing came out. My eyes began to water as we stud there in silence. "Yeah, I guess we were both wrong." Tadashi said as he walked over to the night stand, took his keys and left. I just stud there frozen. Did this really just happen? God i'm so selfish and stupid. How could I say such a thing. My hands went up to cover my eyes and I cried. I sank to my knees shaking taking in uneaven breaths. "I'm sorry." I chocked out. "I'm so sorry."