TW: SELF HARM/MENTION OF SUICIDE
————————————————————————[Bakugou POV]
I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. My mind is racing with thoughts, and none of them are pretty. Do you even understand how your actions affect others? What if Midoriya actually jumped off of the school roof? What would you do? You would be responsible for his death. You're horrible. I think to myself. I roll over to face the wall, groaning and shutting my heavy eyes.
I wake up to see the sun shining through the window. "It's morning already..?" I say, pulling the covers off of my body. I get out of bed to put on my school uniform. I brush my teeth, put on my shoes, grab my backpack and open my door.
"Hey!" Kirishima shouts as I step outside.
"What do you want, hair for brains?" I snap at him, rolling my eyes.
"Wanna walk to class together?" The red head asks. "Or do you wanna make breakfast with me?"
"No! I'm not even hungry, and I'd rather walk by myself," I respond, shoving Kirishima out of my way to go to class. As I'm walking, my thoughts come flooding back. Why do you always act like that? He did nothing wrong. Can't you be nice?.. I push them away when I walk through the door. Of course, that damn nerd is there, along with most of 1-A.
Mr. Aizawa was in his sleeping bag in the corner of the room like he always is, snoring away. I take my seat and put my backpack on the floor, waiting for the lesson to start. Kirishima walks through the door and I make eye contact with him on accident, immediately looking away and putting my mean expression back onto my face.
After a few minutes everyone is in their seats, and Mr. Aizawa unzips his sleeping bag and crawls out. He stands up and starts the lesson. "Hello class. Today we'll be doing some combat training, so please change into your hero costumes and meet me outside," he says, walking out of the classroom.
After everyone has their costumes on, we all start walking to the training area. Kirishima catches up to me, yelling, "Hey, Bakugou!" in my direction. When he's finally next to me, he puts his hand on my shoulder. "Do you wanna train with me?" he asks.
"No, our quirks aren't even compatible. You're better off training with damn Deku than me," I reply, turning my head away. I do want to spend more time with him, but I don't want to look soft in front of my class.
"Oh, well alright. Let me know if you wanna train with me!" he shouts, running towards Midoriya.
"Tch.." I say and look at the ground.
When we get to the training area, Kirishima suggests that I work with Deku and him. "Sure, whatever," I reply with my arms crossed. We find an area to train in and get started. I fire huge explosions at each of them, yelling, "DIE!!!!" as they go off. Deku with his dumb quirk just tries kicking me, but my dodging skills are pretty good so he misses almost every time. Kirishima uses his Red Riot: Unbreakable form and tries to punch me and the nerd, landing some hits on Deku but only one on me. "I'm going to go train by myself," I say and walk off, leaving them behind.
After a while of screaming and blowing up rocks, we have to go back to class so we can learn actual subjects. After we get back we change back into our uniforms and sit down, pulling out notebooks and pens.
After a while of boring classes, it's time to go back to our dorms. When I close the door to my room, I immediately drop to the floor and bury my head in my hands. Why do I always call Midoriya a nerd.. he's always been nice to me and I still treat him like garbage. Shallow sobs escape my lips as tears stream down my face.
When I get up, I wipe my puffy eyes and walk to the bathroom. I look in the mirror, saying to myself, "You're disgusting. Who do you think you are?" I say to myself, clenching my fists. Hey, what if I- I think to myself as I reach for the cabinet under the sink. I open the door and find a blade. "No. I'm not going to do this. I don't want to be weak," I whisper, slowly putting the blade back and shutting the door.
[Kirishima POV]
I can hear noises from Bakugou's room, is he okay? I'm gonna go check on him, I think to myself. I set down my phone and leave my room, walking to his. I knock on the door. "What do you want?" he growls at me.
"Is everything alright? I can hear stuff coming from your room," I reply.
"Yeah, everything's fine, now go away!" he yells back at me. I put my head down and go back to my dorm.
[Bakugou POV]
What did that rock want from me? Everything's always fine. Maybe I was being a little loud, but still, I don't need Shitty Hair to come and check on me.. I roll my eyes as I stare at my phone. I haven't eaten anything today, I should go make something, I think to myself. I get out of bed and leave my dorm to go to the common area. I put a couple of pieces of bread into the toaster and wait for them to pop up. After they're cooked, I spread a little bit of butter on each and eat them at the counter. After I'm finished, I wipe the crumbs off of my shirt and go back to my dorm room.
I lay back down in my bed and pull the covers over me. Tears start to well up in the corners of my eyes again as I'm thinking. Why can't you be better? You should be nicer to the people in your class. You'll never become a hero if you're going to put everyone else down, I think to myself. I wish I was a better person. Tears begin to fall down the sides of my face. Maybe just once. It won't hurt to try.. my mind goes to a different place. Suddenly I want to hurt myself again. I try to ignore it, but the urges get too strong.
I walk over to my bathroom and take the blade out from under the sink. I sigh, "Here goes nothing..." I place the sharp blade against my skin and swipe it. That felt kind of nice... I do it again, and again, and again. I watch as the blood pours from my wrists and onto the floor. I let the 4 cuts bleed for a minute, it felt good, feeling the blood pound in my veins. After, I quickly grab a towel and wet it, pressing it to my wounded skin. Shit.. the towel's stained. What if someone finds it? I panic. I grab some toilet paper and wipe up the drops of blood on the tile. I find some bandages and wrap my wrist with them, hoping nobody asks about it. I clean the blade and place it back in the cabinet, closing the door.
After I was finished, I felt kind of relieved. I got to let out some of the pressure through pain, it felt comforting in a way. I stare at the bandages wrapped tightly around my arm, I can see the blood staining them. "I'm gonna need to change these in the morning.." I whisper, as I lay back down in my bed. I close my eyes and hope nobody will find out.
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That was the first chapter! I hope you liked it. I'm enjoying writing this a lot, actually. I'm sorry if it's not very realistic, I'm trying my best :")
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"You're Horrible" - A Depressed Kiribaku Story
FanfictionBakugou has been thinking a lot about his actions towards others. He wants to be better, he wants to be nice, but he's afraid of being a softie in front of his classmates. Will Kirishima save him from his thoughts? --------------------------- TW: Th...