50 shades of shit

The toilet dilemma

Morgan Sneaky Snake woke up on a Thursday morning with a strange craving for some monster energy and sour cream and onion chips. She knew that it was an unhealthy meal choice, so she pushed her hunger aside and got ready for school.
You may be wondering why Morgan craved such weird food combinations and why she craved shit food that would deplete her health (and cause her to shit for long periods of time multiple times a day) but there's no definite answer. I have a theory though. Want to hear it?
Well it's simple. Morgan is a lesbian. She falls in love with fictional women in movies, books, and anime, and that was the root of her issues. Her standards were so high from these fictional women, so she knew she would have a hard time finding love in the real world with all the (trigger warning) str*ights and m*n.
She did, however, love shitting. It became her favorite part of the day. The feeling of the warm seat on her phat DUMPTRUCK ass calmed her. She had a bit of a crush on that toilet, I think.
We think of toilets as inanimate objects, but they are so much more than that. They carry our vile waste through their system and have to deal with that nasty stench. They have to see our assholes expand to let out phat logs everyday. They have feelings too. But this toilet had different feelings. Feelings for a special person who sat on her everyday. And that person, Morgan, liked her back.