My Love, My Bonded

Chapter One

Rey was exhausted. Tired limbs dragged her body around the Resistance Base in search for her quarters, numb from the events of the past week. Information had been poured upon her, drowning her in emotions. Dirt and grim settled themselves underneath her fingernails and in her scalp, which she hadn't noticed until she returned home from training. She had increased her routine in order to prepare for any other battle similar to the one she had endured a few days ago. The events of the week played in her mind on repeat, each one hurting her heart and tugging a tear from her eye.

Snoke was dead. He was murdered by Kylo Ren. His former student. The child he had viciously groomed into a mass murderer had taken his life. The irony was overwhelming.

Even the thought of Kylo Ren brought butterflies to her stomach but anger to her mind. Her heart swelled even though she knew the horrors he had committed.

Still, he was her bonded.

The Force had decided that they were to be in each other's lives for better or for worse. The light she saw in him was blindingly bright and all she needed to do was take off the mask of darkness he glued on and show it to him. A task that sounds so simple in words but so impossible to act out.

She searched her mind for just a moment to see if she could sense him. She felt his steady breathing and knew he must have been fast asleep. She knew better than to wake him so she retreated from his thoughts and returned to her own.

Her own mask of darkness fell upon her. Her dark thoughts of the damage that occurred that day and seemingly every other day since she left Jakku filled her with guilt.

Sigh after sigh escaped Rey's mouth until the tears that were forming subsided and she was left with a dreadful feeling in the pit of her stomach. She gulped, her saliva scraping across her sore throat. The mixture of crying and yelling throughout the past couple of days came back to attack her voice box with croaky words and painful swallows. She barely felt any of it though. In this moment, she was thankful that General Leia had thought of her and managed to provide her with her own quarters on the base. She could not imagine having to go through all of the torment and chaos in her mind with fifteen people watching her take in each breath.

She stripped off her dirt ridden clothes, throwing them into a small basket she was told to use for her dirty garments. A white bowl full of water sat on an old desk with a towel sitting next to it. The energy she normally would've used to go shower left her body so she grabbed the towel and soaked it with cold water. She scrubbed her skin with the little thing, finding every piece of sand she could before her eyes began to shut. Tomorrow she would have a proper shower. As for tonight, she wrapped her body in the cloth, beige robe that hung in her makeshift closet. It was thin but much too big for her. It sank in pools around her feet, causing her to trip and curse at the thing. She yanked her hair out of it's style and let it consume her shoulders on her way to the only place that hadn't brought her sadness in these past hours: her bed.

Rey collapsed onto it, snuggling into the warmth it provided. She pulled on the comforter to hold her entire body and tucked it beneath her chin. Her wild hair splayed on the pillow and her eyes shut instantly, wanting sleep to envelop her. The universe answered her call as she was cast into a deep sleep.

A few hours later, she found herself awake but she did not know why. She tried relentlessly to return to her slumber but some sort of pull was forcing her to remain alert. Her mind that was once fuzzy began to clear up. Now with her body and mind working in sync, Rey recognized the familiar but frightening pull and connection. It was her bonded.

"Rey," a voice called behind her. She whipped around and saw him settled in her chair.

"Ben," she spoke. He flinched at her for using his name but she couldn't care less. That was his name his parents selected and she was going to use it.