It was in the middle of my breakup with Josh that I realized I was in love with Ashton. But I was a guy well a trans guy but nonetheless still a guy. And Ashton was straight. Augh why do I need to deal with these feelings I just got broken up with. "Jay?" Ashton said. I snapped out of my thoughts, and unmuted myself. "What's up dude?" I asked. "Are you sure you're doing okay? You really seemed to like this guy" Ashton said. I looked at my hands. "Y-yea I am just sad still" I said. "YOU BETTER NOT CRY JAMES" Ashton yelled. I smiled. It felt good knowing that someone was there for me, well knowing he was there for me. Aaah no I can't be thinking this was about him. He's straight it could never work out he would never like me like that....."I can't promise that Ash" I said in a sad tone. There was silence for a bit. " I am taking away your crying privileges now," Ashton said. I wanted to laugh but I held back. "NOOOO please give them back" I said smiling. "Only if you promise not to cry" Ashton said. "Like I said I can't promise something like that" I said. I got up from my bed and walked into the living room. "Then you're not getting your crying privileges back then," Ashton said. "Aww man" I said. "Aaah I have to go now I'm sorry Jams my grandma wants to take me to the waffle house now" Ashton said. I was disappointed but I wouldn't let him know that. "Ooh its otay talk to you later Ash" I said. "Bye" Ashton said as he hung up. I threw my phone on the floor "FUCK!" I yelled thankfully only my guinea pigs and I were home. "Augh fuck you Ash Aaah!" I yelled again. I was frustrated that I fell for my friend, and even worse he's straight! Omg I need so much fucking help. Should I keep this to myself. Probably maybe yea I should if I tell him I feel like things wouldn't be the same anymore. And I still feel upset about Josh leaving me but still I can't help these feelings. These feeling might stop tomorrow maybe who knows.
