One Shot Stories.

The 60th Teddy Bear

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Based on a true story..

...of everyone who is a lonely victim of love.

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I really loved my boyfriend.

What are the other words to decribe about my feelings towards him? That he was cute, adorable, nice and sweet. That he always makes me smile when I'm sad and cries with me while I'm crying too, that he always says he loves me whenever and wherever we are. For me, he's the perfect boyfriend that a girl wishes to have.

I was fifteen when we had each other. A young love but a full-blown feelings was built in our hearts. I was dumb when I said to myself that he's the one, and now, I'm still dumb.

Since the very day of our monthsaries, he always didnt forget to give me cuddly teddy bears in different styles, color and sizes. 

Yeah. I find those pretty sweet and consistent, but at the back of my mind, are you still not sick and tired giving me teddy bears? I mean, it's good but after all, you can give me other things you wanted or I wanted to have. Or you cannot also give me presents. I'm not gonna get angry at you.

I asked him one time ago about it but he just ignored me and smiled. Since then, I didnt asked him about that. Maybe he has other plans. Maybe none.

He called me the day before our anniversary and we haven't seen each other for three days because we're too busy studying since we are at different universities and we're in the hype of our finals in the second semester.

"Hello Babe, I missed you so much." hearing his voice may actually seem that he's beside me and hugging him as well.

"Same here Babe, how's the finals? Is it messing you uh?" I teased him.

"Arrgh! What else?! But dont worry, I still have powers to go on." then he laughed.

"You can do it! Cheer up! Hmm, as for me, I still do have 2 more subjects to go and I'm over!" I exclaimed at him. It's like were facing each other and talking. "Good luck then, dear. Err, so what's the plan for tomorrow? It's our fifth year anniversary."

"Uhhm.." he didnt reply for a second.

"So you're telling me that you're gonna give me a teddy bear--again?"

He uttered nothing. I just dont know but I feel pissed because, you know, I catched him thinking that he's about to give me a teddy bear as his gift?! Does he owns a teddy bear factory? Seriously?

"Babe, it's just that--"

"I'm tired. I think I wanna go to sleep." I hunged up the phone and threw it into my bed. I sighed.  love him, but why he have to be like this?

The following day, well it's our fifth year anniversary. I just greeted him 'Good morning'--the usual stuffs that girl texts to her boyfriend. He replied right away but I didnt texted him back nor called him. I ignored all his calls and messages and I made myself busy not to have any communications with him.

I went home past 8pm because me and my classmates bought some production materials to our documentary shooting for the following week. My Mom told me that my boyfriend was here an hour ago and waiting for me, but since I'm not talking to him, he just went home right away.

The next morning before I go to school, his mom went to our house and her eyes are wet. Just like fresh from crying?? I really dont know what to feel because I was very nervous and my heart beats fast.

"I'm sorry.." that was the first thing my boyfriend's mom told me and she hugged me very tight.

"Sorry for what Tita?"

"My son died bcause of a hit and run accident by a trailer truck last night after going here." then she cried hard.

My face was blank and turned pale. Wait, is this some kind of a joke? Well, if it is his way to say sorry, well it doesnt work for me!

"Before he went home coming from here. he was hit and got DOA in the hospital. Oh my God!! I dont know where those reckless drivers are! All I want is justice for him!" she continued crying and I suddenly feel my feet loosen, my nerves broke and my heart torn apart..

My boyfriend for five years.. now dead and left me.

No way!!

"He's not dead Tita! You're kidding right? Where is he? Babe?! the show's over! Come out here please? Youre forgiven! Come out! I'm here! I'm not angry at you now! Baby, you see I'm crying now. Stop the show! Come here--!" I bursted into tears. I know and I feel he's here around and just hiding somewhere! He's not dead okay? He's not dead!

"Dear, he's dead, I'm really very sorry.. I wish all of these are just a joke but it isnt. We all miss him."

I dont wanna believe anything! He just texted and called me right? He's here! He's alive! His mom and I hugged tightly and both cry in desperation. 

It's all my fault! I'm the one responsible with his death! If I answered his calls and messages, he'd still be here! If I talked to him yesterday, this aint happen! If we were happy yesterday, he'll not die! I hate myself! Sue me babe! I'm sorry.. This is all my fault. I hated you..

"It's hard to accept dear, but he's gone.."

"But I love him.."

***

My eyes are still red from my boyfriend's burial awhile ago. Just thinking about our five year relationship--our happiness, the ups and downs of our love story, I cant help but to reminisce it all. I missed him so much that it hurts a lot when I thought of what happened to him. Still, justice is not yet served to his family, for me and for him. As I look over the teddy bears he gave me, I hugged them tightly, though I know he's not here, I can feel his presence and even his love..

"Hi Babe, happy first monthsary. I love you! I know you're the one for me--" I startled. I thought I heard his voice, I looked around and he wasnt there. I hugged the teddy bears again and..

"Happy 5th Monthsary babe, I love you with or without your eyeglasses, you're still pretty for me. You should know that.."

"Yo babe. It's our first year! Look at us! We survived 12 months. You know what? I love you.."

"Babe, happy second anniversary. Your kissed are sweet so as you. I love you!"

I cant help myself but to cry harder and harder as I hear the recordings inside the teddy ebars he gave me before. Now I know the reason why he's giving me these.. And I was a total fool not to notice it for five years! I'm so ashamed of what I did. I hate myself for this and I'm a total assh*le!

"To my dearest and loving girlfriend, happy fifth year anniversary! You know how much you mean to me. I love you a lot. You're my life and my strength. I dont know what to do without you. Your smile is my everyday vitamin to face the challenges and hardships I encountered everyday. I love you. I really love you. I'm sorry if I pissed you yesterday because I disappointed you for giving you only teddy bears with my messages in it. I do hope you hear it but i think up to now, you still dont even know about it. But whatever it may takes, with your side or without, just hug these bears as a sign of my love and devotion for you. Feel as if youre hugging me too. Till then babe, I love you, happy 60th monthsary.."

I counted the teddy bears he gave me from the first month until the 5th anniversary. I was shocked with what I've got. I'm holding the 60th teddy bear gift for me before and after he died.

I cried silently but full of sorrow because I hated myself with what I did to him. I was really dumb and I dont know how will I start my life again without him by my side.

I miss him as much as I misses him everyday. But I still feel that even he's not here physically, I do feel his love and warmth wherever I hugged these teddy bears he gave me.

I'm now twenty years old and I know he's up there in heaven, guiding me. I know, there'll be  a time that we'll be together for eternity..

I really love my boyfriend so much..

---END---