Past Life Lessons (A Lams Fanfiction)

Alex Creates A Plan

A/N: Before I start this chapter hi, I'm super sorry that I left everyone hanging for literally a month. Stuff got way out of hand school wise and then there was a lot of other stuff happening with my life. The fic just kind of got away from me? Anyway again I'm super sorry. Now that I have more time (youtube stuff was happening on my channel) I'll try to update the story more. I don't really know what schedule I'm going to have because school but I'll try to update, what day that'll be a don't know but I'm going to try my hardest, especially since these are like the last 4 chapters (I know i'm a little sad) because I'm planning that chapter 20 will be the epilogue. Anyway thank you for sticking with me, I'm sorry again, but here is chapter 17 :)

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Alex was tired of it all.

Sitting at his desk, hunched over his laptop and furiously typing. Midterms were quickly approaching, Alexander Hamilton was not going to fail. He refused.

But at the same time he was at the point where he wanted to throw his laptop across his dorm room. He was sick and tired of all this studying, and essay writing, and panicking. Who decided that midterms were a good idea anyway?

Pushing all of that aside, trying to forget that he had mountain loads of work to get down without anytime to do any of it. John needed him.
He needed to stay strong.

One of them had to have everything put together, and it sure wasn't going to be John right now.

What was he even doing? Was he writing an essay or some elaborate plot to make the world better again, to put it all back in place before Henry Laurens had to ruin it all. So which one was it?

Alex didn't know anymore. Thoughts blended together, kisses and hugs didn't register. Had he slept, eaten, functioned? But he had to stay together. Keep himself together.

All Alex wanted to do was break down.

No.

He sat up from his desk and flopped onto his bed, ironically right next to John who had been studying in his dorm. Alex had learned quite quickly that John did not like studying alone, he always had to have someone there to make sure that he was doing his work, even if it did make him feel a bit like a child.

Alex curled into a ball, cuddled next to John. He just needed a moment to breathe. One second to forget about everything that was going on outside of the four walls of his dorm, it would all be better than. It could be better.

He sighed as he wrapped his arms around John's waist, he was still sitting up and reading some textbook or another. Art history most likely. Boring.

The thoughts flying around in his head began to slow just a tad bit, better. A hand found its way into his hair and began playing with the chocolate brown strands, better. A steady heartbeat that Alex could focus on much slower than the one beating in his own chest, better.
It was better.

He could function again.

Maybe he could focus on the plan that he was quickly devising. Ever since that phone call he had been thinking about it. He needed to make sure that John saw his siblings again, no matter what he was going to make sure that it happened. Nobody was going to stop him, he was Alexander Hamilton, he had done so much in his short life and this would be another thing. It wasn't that he was doing it for himself, he didn't want his boyfriend to suffer anymore.

He didn't know the extent of what happened in John's childhood, he silently hoped that John would feel comfortable enough to tell him one day, but if his father was bad enough to do this he was a terrible monster.