When I was a poem

Simula

It's been 2 years but it feels like yesterday.

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[December 10, 2017]

I think, it is the most memorable day in my life. Isipin mo ba naman, the man I loved the most propose to me in this day. And eventually, I got a call from the company na pinasahan ko ng resume ko and na tanggap ako. To think na super sikat na company ang napasukan ko. My ghad.

I can't even imagine it. Sobrang nakakagalak ng puso ang mga ng yayari.

I'm so speechless.

"So, Blair when you are planning your wedding?" — Tita Elisa

"Mom, don't pressure her. We're not in a hurry." — Matthew

Matthew and I is in a relationship sa loob ng apat na taon. Almost a year nya ko niligawan and yeah we end up in each other.

"hahaha it's oky matt, and I'm thinking po tita na maybe next year? Tutal dun din naman po ang punta namin ni matt, so bakit pa popatatagalin?" as I wink to matt.

You know, wala ka ng hahanapin pa kay Matthew. He is so gentleman and what I love the most about him is his sweetness and his understanding attitude.

"It's great then, di na ko makapaghintay mag ka apo." —Tita Elisa

"Mom!" Suway naman ni Matt kay tita.

"Like what I said, I'm, I mean We're not in a hurry mom. And beside maaabutan mo pa ang apo mo saamin ni Blair. So don't worry oky? Let's just eat, alam kong pagod na si Blair" and he flash a sweet smile on me.

How adorable he is.

As we done sa dinner, dahil gustong gusto ako makita ng mommy nya para ma congrats kami pareho. Inihatid nya na ako sa condo ko.

"I'm not pressuring you hon. You know, about the wedding and having a children." —Matt and he is like a shy type boy.

"Your so cute hon." Pinisil ko ang pisngi nya hahaha.

"I know. And gusto ko lang din naman next year kasi why not? Dun din naman tayo pupunta and we have a months pa naman para mag prepare. So don't worry, oky?" Looking in his eyes to assure him.

Bumuntong hininga sya.

"What and when ever you want. As long I'm with you in the end of the day. I'm happy and contented on that hon." As he kiss me in my forehead.

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Napabalikwas ako sa pagkakatulog. Isa nanaman sa masasayang alaala.

Pinunasan ko ang aking luha.

Hanggang ngayon, di parin ako makatulog ng maayos sa gabi.

It's been a years Blair!

"Why can't you move on?!!" I said out of my mind. Crying over and over again.

And I found my self dringking. AGAIN.

Drinking makes me calm. As I look at my veranda, and a cold air welcome me.

Niyakap ko ang aking sarili.

Iniisip ang mga nag yari NOON. Ang masasayang alaala.

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[July 18, 2018]

"Are you tired hon?" —Matt, tanong nya habang hinahaplos ang aking muka.