I can vividly remember that day.
We exchanged simple words without great expectations.
Then who would have thought that the simple words will continuously flow.
Words became sentences then paragraphs then essays.
Before I knew it, I became excited every single day.
Flow of emotions rushing as I wondered what you'll say.
Thoughts and even mere experiences became bridge in the building connection.
Then I started to share a bit of my life to you as how you opened a bit to me.
Time passed and it became a routine.
I wake up each morning with a smile in my face knowing that I'll hear from you.
We told each other even the simple bits of our daily happenings.
Talking to you has been a part of my each and every day.
The days has became something to look forward to.
Knowing you're there kept the light inside of me.
It was the first time that I've felt it and I know that this was what I've been waiting for my entire life.
Then I woke up one morning not hearing from you.
I still waited patiently knowing that it will come.
I hesitantly closed my eyes and let fatigue work its way to make me sleep.
I opened my eyes and you're back again.
It was back to normal like you were never gone.
It was my longing that failed to made me see how it started to change.
The glowing light that always fill my morning has slowly weaken.
The days that seemed to be filled with magic is slowly going away.
Leaving as fast as how it build up.
Despite it, I stayed knowing it will come back.
But it was my foolishness that failed to recognize that it was all an illusion.
An illusion I created for myself.
The crack on the bridge has finally crawled its way to break it.
The exciting exchange of words had changed to routine pass of words.
These words that meant nothing but give false hope.
The sweet expressions, the warmth has slowly dissipated.
Days that felt complete by a simple word of each other has lost it's meaning.
Waiting has been the routine.
The essays became paragraphs then sentences then words.
Then to nothing.
Excitement turned to anxiety.
Paranoia and desperation has filled my every single bone until I despised myself for it.
Every candle of hope flaming in me is slowly dying.
While waiting for you each time, loneliness has find its way to be by my side.
With great expectations come disappointments.
It's my thoughts that turned me into a needy anxious person hoping for something that will never be.
My fear that everything will eventually fade has won.
And what's left for me is to let go.
To realize that I was alone in the bridge for sometime.
To leave the broken bridge before I drown again.. like I always did.
