Season Series : Before March 4

CHAPTER 11

Day 11
February 14

PAST 3 YEARS

Noise were every where, cries, shouts and pain. Its like a deja vu, coming from a cryptic word into a reality.

My eyes were blurry, but not that much just enough for a conscious person like me who is being pushed in a stretcher to know what was happening, people wearing white nurse uniform keeps talking at me.

I can't see them clearly, they were silhouettes on my sight.

They kept on asking question to make me awake but it doesn't help, because I can't understand even a thing. I can't recall their voices and images.

But...

I can read through their actions.

Panic...

They are panicking.

And it makes me sicker.

I don't want their question and talking, and actions. I just want to... I want to breathe. But I don't why, how, what happen.

I cant breathe even I want to.

Something is wrong.

I'm suffocated, even how much I try to catch my breath, it won't enter, I can't breathe. I can't fight the pain of being drown without even a drop of water.

I want to shout, I want to stand my ground, but my body is useless, it won't do what I want. My body is a traitor. This heart is a curse.

LED lights on the roof passing was the only thing that keeps me awake. The stretcher stopped, they hurriedly held me up to transfer in another bed.

I shut my eyes close as they run different test on my body, there were even apparatus attached on me. They put something in my nose... gently, air entered my body.

But the pounding of my heart wont stop, it keeps nagging me out that brings shivers after shivers.

A familiar man with a lab coat walk beside me and started checking me up.

"Tell me what you feel." He ask the same question... over and over again, rather than answering the question that they know the exact answer, I keep breathing with all I am.

Panting heavily, I moved my arm and held his wrist, suddenly he stop and waited for my responds.

I composed my death.

"N-Natatakot ako."

--

"MAMAMATAY naba ako? Sagutin mo please. Kasi... n-natatakot ako."

I stiffened.

Ang boses ko ang narinig ko kesa ang boses niya sa huling katagang binitawan.

Tumalikod ako.

Niyamukos ko ang damit ko sa dibdib. Ang sikip.

I wanna breathe.

Breathe

Gusto ko siyang tulungan. Pero kahit ako 'di ko rin alam ang gagawin. I can't bare it seeing her like that. Pinapasikip niya ang dibdib ko.

Isang nakakapanghinang hakbang palayo ang ginawa ko, pikit mata, at pilit tinatanggal sa isip ang itsura niyang naghihingi ng tulong. Dahil baka may magawa akong alam kong ikakatanggal ng hangin ko. I must know my limit. That's what my doctor said... Dad said.

Litong-lito ako sa uunahin ko.

Para akong nasa gitna ng dalawang kamatayan at 'di alam kung anong pipiliin.