Mère

Chapter 16

The time for the dance was getting closer. Vanessa already bought a dress, but she wouldn’t tell me what it looked like. Daniel and Abel also bought their suits. I had never been to an event before, and I had never worn a suit before. I tried it on a few times and looked at myself in the mirror. It fitted me well and made me feel powerful. “I’m definitely going to wear these in the future.”, I thought. I then went over to Abel’s house to catch up.
“So, how’s Kate?”, I winked
“Shut up.”, he smiled. “She’s okay…she got her dress for the dance.”
“What colour is it?”
“Yellow.”
“Yellow?”
“Yeah…she’s a colourful person.”
“Well, I’m sure she’ll look great.”
“Me too. So, how are you and Vanessa doing?”
“We’re good, great in fact.”
“Decided on whether you’re going to marry her yet?”
“I don’t have to worry about that right now.”
“But if you were forced to marry her, would you mind?”
“Of course not.”, I said
“Well then, maybe you should think about marriage.”
“Alright, enough, pastor.”
Abel held marriage quite sacred, because of his Christian background. I knew that he would never date Kate because she wasn’t Christian. I felt like that would hold him back in life…what if his soulmate weren’t a Christian? I don’t know…maybe she wouldn’t be his soulmate then. After a few more days, it was time for the dance. The school held the dance at a hall, that had old white, Italian-like carvings of stone on the outside. Abel, Daniel, and I met outside, and we went in together, because our dates hadn’t arrived yet. On the inside, it had shiny wooden floors and at the centre of the hall, there was a giant chandelier, hanging from the arch of the ceiling, that sparkled in the light, reflecting it in different directions. On one side, there were round tables all over, covered in bright white cloth. On the centre of each table was a vase of roses and plates along with cutlery. On the other side, there was a large dancefloor, in front of a stage, where I assumed the principal would give an address. Before the dancefloor, there were two long tables filled with food. One had nothing but desserts. The students roamed around for a bit, investigating the hall. As I was distracted by the chandelier, I heard a voice from the entrance saying, “Hey you.”. I knew who it was immediately, and as I looked to the entrance I was stunned. She wore a nude coloured sweetheart neckline dress, that barely touched the floor. The upper half of the dress had silver floral patterns, that stretched and wrapped around her like vines. The bottom half of the dress flowed along with her hair as she walked towards me.
“You look so handsome!”, she exclaimed
“I…you…look…amazing.”, I stared at her
“Thank you.”, she smiled
She held my hand and we went to our seats. Abel sat with Kate across from us, at the same table. Daniel sat at another table with his other friends, who also didn’t have dates. We listened to the principal give an address, telling us to enjoy the evening. Then some students gave performances, as entertainment. The DJ then began playing model runway music. Everyone looked around, as we were confused. Mr. Palmer then walked around and started picking students to walk down the dancefloor like a model. I put my head down, under the table, because I knew that if he saw me, he would make me go. Mr. Palmer walked past me and as he began to walk away, I lifted my head from under the table. Vanessa then grabbed a spoon and dropped it from quite a height onto the plate in front of her. It made a loud sound, and Mr. Palmer turned around, saw me, and grabbed me telling me that I looked so good, that I had to go and model. I tried to resist and even asked Vanessa for help, but all she did was smile and laugh. Mr. Palmer then guided me to the stage where all the other students he picked were. I looked to my right and saw Daniel. We laughed at each other and we quickly discussed what we could do, when walking, to look like models. Soon enough, it was Daniel’s turn to go down the “runway”. He was nervous and couldn’t stop shaking, so I grabbed his arm and we walked down the runway together, with our arms interlocked. The music thumped as we strutted down the dancefloor. At the end of the walk, when it was time to turn around, we both gave a sexy pose to the crowd and they cheered. I could see Vanessa, Abel, and Kate, laughing at the back. We then grabbed each other’s arms and strutted our way back to the stage, where Mr. Palmer told all the students to stay. After the rest of the students did their walk, Mr. Palmer announced that it was time for the audience to pick a prom King and Queen. He asked the audience who they wanted, and most of the audience shouted, “Sebastian and Daniel!”. Daniel and I looked at each other in amazement, but quickly realized that one of us had to be Queen.
“You do it.”, I said
“Nah uh, you do it.”, he said
“Rock, paper, scissors?”
“Let’s go.”
“Rock, paper, scissors!”, we said. I had paper and he had scissors.
“Yes!”, exclaimed Daniel
I was then elected prom Queen, and they put a small crown on my head. Mr. Palmer congratulated me and laughed. The entire room was laughing, but I was laughing too. Daniel and I then returned to our tables. When I sat down, I just looked at Vanessa and smiled. “Do you see what you did?”, I asked. We laughed and I gave her my crown to wear. Then the time came for us to eat. I didn’t really want to eat any of the food and neither did Vanessa, so we went over to the dessert table and filled our bowls with chocolate pudding.
“You know what this reminds me of?”, I smirked
“Dude, shut up and eat.”, Vanessa laughed
Abel and Kate ate together as well, and they sat really close to each other. They were giggling and fidgeting with each other as well. Vanessa and I knew something was up. After we all ate, the DJ began playing songs for us to dance to. Vanessa grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. We were the first ones there, and slowly but surely the other students came onto the dance floor as well. Vanessa and I looked like monkeys when we danced, but so did everyone else. I saw Abel dancing with Kate, and they were looking into each other’s eyes. The DJ then started playing a slow song. I held Vanessa in my arms, and we swayed with the music. She looked into my eyes and said, “I love you” and then she kissed me. She looked so perfect that night. Her eyes were glistening from the lights and her hair smelled sweet. We danced in each other’s arms, with our foreheads rested on one another and then I suddenly saw that Abel was kissing Kate. I was shocked, but I tried not to pay attention to them. Soon enough, the dance was over, and when the music stopped Vanessa and I held onto each other for a minute or two longer, before leaving the dancefloor. We left the hall together and Vanessa’s mother was waiting outside. While her back was turned Vanessa quickly kissed me and then went to the car. When she walked away… it was like watching a sunset on the beach…I was mesmerized. Daniel then grabbed my shoulder.
“Hey, you still on earth pal?”, he asked
“Uh…yeah, what’s up?”
“Well, did you see Abel and Kate tonight?”, he asked, giddily
“I know! What was happening there?”
“We’ll ask him later.”, he said
Abel said goodbye to Kate with a hug. She looked a bit disappointed as she walked away. Abel, Daniel, and I then headed home, but before we did, we went to Daniel’s house. We all sat on Daniel’s patio, after a long night.
“So…Kate, huh.”, I said
“What happened, man! Tell us!”, exclaimed Daniel
“I…I don’t know.”, said Abel, while looking at the floor
“What do you mean? What’s wrong?”, I asked
“I…I think I’m falling for Kate…”
“That’s great!”, I said
“Yeah, so what’s wrong?”, asked Daniel
“I don’t want to fall for Kate.”, said Abel
“Why not?”, Daniel and I said, at the same time
“Because she…she’s not Christ-”
“Oh my god!”, I interjected
“Dude, will you please relax with that?”, asked Daniel
“No. I won’t. You don’t understand…yes, she’s great, but we aren’t…on the same life path…”, said Abel
“What do you mean? You’re both young, you get along great, both funny, both intelligent, what about your life isn’t on the same path besides religion?”, I asked
“There doesn’t need to be anything else…”, said Abel
Daniel rested his face in his hands, like he was trying to suppress his rage. “Dude. Please don’t throw away this girl, just because she has a different view on religion than you.”, said Daniel
“I…I don’t want to…but I think I have to…it’s not a good idea for the long term…”, said Abel
Daniel and I sighed. I knew that Abel wouldn’t let go of religion, but I didn’t think that he would cast away potential lovers for it…at least not someone that he clearly liked as much as Kate. We then went home and when I got home, my mum asked me how the dance went. I told her that I enjoyed myself and she hugged me. She then held the wall and I tried to help her make her way back to her room. After that I went into my room and lied down on my bed, still wearing my suit. I stared at the white ceiling, slowly closed my eyes, and fell asleep. I had a dream that I was drowning…there was something below me…it was dark and had a contorted face…it was screaming, but the sound was distorted because we were underwater. It inched closer and closer towards me, and then I suddenly woke up. It was morning. I heard my mum crying in her room. I went to her and sat down beside her.
“What’s wrong mum?”
“I don’t know, darling. I’ve just been feeling very stressed recently…I haven’t been sleeping…and my back hurts so much…”, she cried. I hugged her gently.
“Maybe you should go to a psychologist, mum. They can help you out with your stress.”, I said
Later on, that day I went with her to the psychologist. While she was in the psychologist’s room, I was outside, and I got a call from Vanessa.
“Hey you.”, she said
“Hey.”
“So, I got a present for you.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll have to see it in person.”
“Okay.”
“What are you doing right now?”
“I’m with my mum at a psychologist.”
“Oh…is she okay?”, she asked
“Yeah, but she’s been really stressed out so thought it would help if she spoke to a professional.”
“Tell me how she feels afterwards.”
“Okay, I will.”
Vanessa seemed to genuinely care about my mum. I waited outside for almost three hours…I got bored and walked around the hospital. I saw a patient being carried into ICU. He was wet from head to toe and left water dripping all over the floor as they carried him into the ward. He gazed directly into my eyes as he was being carried away. “That was weird.”, I thought. I returned to the psychologist’s office and just in time for the session to be over. My mother left the office, looking like she had just cried. The psychologist walked to me and said, “Take care of her. She’s going to need you now more than ever”, and she then returned to her office. I looked at my mother and she was staring at the floor.
“What’s wrong mum?”. She remained silent. “Are you okay?”
“Let’s go home…”, she said, quietly
“Okay…”, I said, confused
We got home and my mum slowly inched her way to her bedroom without saying a word. I went into her bedroom but by the time I did she was already covered with her sheets. She looked like she was sleeping so I didn’t say anything. I went into my room and lied on my bed. “Today’s been weird.”, I said to myself. The next day I woke up and went to the kitchen. I saw my mum standing in the middle of the kitchen, with a mug of coffee in her hand. She was staring at the floor. Motionless.
“What’s wrong, mum?”. She remained silent. She then turned around and was startled by me. She dropped the mug onto the floor and the coffee spilled everywhere.
“Shit!”, she exclaimed
“Woah. What’s wrong? Why did you do that?”
“I…I don’t…”, she stopped talking.
“You don’t what?”
She then left the kitchen and slowly walked to her room. I was so confused, but I cleaned up the coffee spill and went to her room. I looked at her and she was just looking at the floor again, like a zombie. I looked at her eyes…she hadn’t slept the whole night. She was wearing the same clothes she had on yesterday as well.
“Mum. Do you need help? I can call Uncle Eric or something-”
“No!”, she roared, with an inhuman growl. She had never shouted at me like that before.
“O-Okay…sorry…”
“Just…let…let me…think.”, she said, while staring at the floor.
“Okay…”
I left her room quickly. I felt a bit emotional…because of how she spoke to me. An hour later, I was in my room and she came to speak to me. She stood at the door and looked at me…she had been crying.
“Sebastian. I need to speak to you.”
“Okay…”
“I…I know I’ve been acting strange…but I…I can’t help it, okay?”, she started to tear up. I remained silent. “All my life…I’ve tried to be a good mother…I tried my best to raise you by myself, but without your father, it’s been hard. I know it’s been hard on you, my son…and after I got sick I know that you started to feel more depressed, and I’m sorry that you had to deal with that, my darling, because you know mummy would never want that for you…everything in my life has been for you, my baby…everything. From the day that you were born, I wasn’t going to let anything hurt you…because you’re my baby…my baby! I tried my best, my darling…I swear I don’t want to cause you any more pain…because you are such a wonderful child…you stuck by me through all of it my darling…God truly gave me a wonderful gift when you were born, but now…I don’t want to hurt you, my baby…mummy doesn’t wasn’t to hurt you, but I have no one else…my own family won’t talk to me because they don’t care…you are the only person I can trust now, darling. Mummy…mummy doesn’t have… anyone else…”, she choked on her words.
“What do you mean? What are you talking about?”
“Darling…you know mummy never wants to hurt you, and I would never hurt you…but I can’t…I can’t talk to anyone else about this, my baby.”
“About what?”
“When I went to the psychologist, I spoke about everything I’ve been going through…she even did this deep psychosis therapy where I have to lie down and she talks to me about my past…I ended up telling her about Aunt Madison and how she used to hit me…and I spoke about how my father was a drunk and how he used to hit my mother…and then I remembered something…”, she started sobbing uncontrollably
“What?”
“I…I remembered…your…your Uncle Eric…”, she cried even harder.
“What? What about him”
“I…remembered that he…he touched me…when I was a small girl…he…he touched me…and I didn’t like it…I started crying…but he still touched me…”, she cried out.
I couldn’t move. I was paralysed. Fear. Sadness. Anger. Hatred. Rage. Everything bubbled inside of me. My mum then went into her room and cried; I didn’t follow her.