"After the things I lived, I didn't want to fall in love again. But you made me believe in what I thought got lost in this dark and cold world." - Taehyung.
Continuation of "Calling Paradise."
Started: October 01, 2020.
Completed: September 11, 2021...
Taehyung is looking at me, waiting for an answer that will satisfy his curiosity. But my hands are sweating, my legs shaking, and I can feel the knot on my throat that's stopping me from talking. Taehyung is still pinning me against the door; I can feel his breath ghosting over my face, and my heart beating faster because of it. I noticed his eyes glued on mine, so I immediately looked away as my cheeks began to get reddish.
How do I tell my hyung that he's everything I ever wanted? How can I let him know that I looked for someone like him this entire time?
-There's something that you are hiding from me, Jungkook. – Taehyung noticed before sighing. -Please, tell me if I can help you. Is it Yoongi-hyung? Are you trying to explain to me that both of you are back together? – Taehyung questioned, making me look at him, upset.
I got offended by the comment he made; after all, I already told Taehyung that I don't want any reconciliation with Yoongi. What happened between us is now in the past. And just like his story with Jodie, I want to forget mine with Yoongi as well.
-Yoongi-hyung isn't with me. – I stated while looking at him sternly. -How can you imply that? – I questioned, offended before pushing him away from me.
-Jungkook. – Taehyung called my name, but I didn't look back at him. But then, he took my hand and pulled me against him. -I'm sorry. I thought that you were together again; it was a thought that was on the back of my head. – He said embarrassedly.
-And what made you believe that? Huh? – I questioned, looking at him angrily.
-I've noticed that you two are closer, and for a second, I thought that both wanted to try again. – Taehyung revealed before caressing my hand.
-I already told you before, what happened between Yoongi-hyung and me is in the past. And just like your memories with Jodie, I would want to forget my own with him. – I declared before taking a deep breath.
-You never had time to heal, did you? – Taehyung questioned, concerned.
I didn't answer. I stood in silence since it's quite evident that I did not make time for my healing.
-You took care of me so much that you didn't leave time for you. And even now, you still worry about me. – Taehyung sighed before leaving the photo on top of the table from the entrance. He let go of my hand before walking towards the door. -Tell me something, Jungkook. Why can you help me, and you don't let me help you somehow? Where's the meaning of our friendship if you keep lying to me and denying your problems on my face? Ask those things to yourself, and when you are ready, I'll wait to talk with you. – Taehyung spoke, sounding hurt. And after that, he got out of the apartment.
I exhaled before looking up to the ceiling. I couldn't phrase any words, but my sobs didn't hesitate to blare the entire room. I kneeled before covering my face with my hands; I started to shake my head over while feeling my soul breaking little by little.
Go, run, you have to get him, Jungkook! Wake up!
I tried to stand up and get towards the door, but as soon as I opened it, I noticed that no one was there. Without caring at all, I took my coat and got my keys. I ran out of the apartment and tried to search for Taehyung. I got down the stairs of the building as fast as I could, and when I reached the first floor, I got out to the streets. I looked side to side, trying to see if Taehyung was somewhere nearby. Luckily, I turned to my left and saw Taehyung walking away. Instantly, like an impulse, I started to run towards him while calling his name.
-Taehyung! – I yelled, making him stop immediately. As soon as he looked behind, I noticed Taehyung's eyes shedding tears.
I didn't stop my emotions this time, and I did what I wanted to do. I hugged Taehyung; I pulled him against me while sobbing loudly.
-Stay, stay with me, please. – I stuttered while snuggling against Taehyung's chest.
-Jungkook. – Taehyung sighed before holding me against him. I couldn't say anything else. I just wanted him to hold me tight and hope for this dream of mine to come true.
*Moments later*
We got back to my apartment. Taehyung prepared some tea for both of us; we opened the VApp to check on our fans and also to talk about other things that could cheer us up. After that, we decided to stay quiet while listening to some music. The winter season is here, so everything around the place seems colder. I put the fireplace on while humming some of the melodies inside my head.
Suddenly, Taehyung sat down next to me as I had my eyes glued on the fireplace.
-Are you feeling better, Kook? – Taehyung asked while looking at the fire.
-I guess so. Talking with ARMY is always comforting. – I spoke, not wanting to look at my friend.
-Yes, it is, but you can talk to me too, you know? – Taehyung assured while glancing at me.
I sighed before staring at Taehyung. We looked at one another before he caressed my head.
Start slow, Jungkook. Begin with the easiest part.
-I lied to you because there are some things that I'm still wondering about, and I don't want to tell anyone about them because I'm not sure of my feelings. – I disclosed, noticing my hands moving forward to Taehyung's.
-Oh, do you like someone? – Taehyung asked, surprised.
-Yes. – I nodded as Taehyung started to hold my hands. -I don't know if he feels the same way, but I don't want to say anything about it. I want to wait for everything to be alright. – I explained while looking at my fingers intertwined with Tae's.
-Do I know this guy? – Taehyung asked, looking a bit upset.
-I guess you do, but I won't try anything for now; after all, I'm still scared of giving too much or not being enough in a relationship. – I admitted sadly.
-You are more than enough, Jungkook. Stop thinking about the past. – Taehyung said, trying to cheer me up.
-For someone, I might be. – I said before taking a deep breath. -Love isn't for me; there's always something that makes everything more complicated. – I slightly smiled before lying my back against the soft rug.
-That makes two of us. – Taehyung softly chuckled before looking back at me.
We were still holding hands until I felt his touch going away. But suddenly, Taehyung laid down next to me while smiling.
-What? – I stared at Taehyung, confused.
-I don't want to see you crying never again, okay? I don't understand the reason behind your tears, but I know that the meaning is deep and significant to you. – Taehyung sincerely spoke.
-I felt sorry for lying to you, and then we argued two times on this day. Then I have mixed feelings about the things I should and shouldn't do, so it was a lot to take. – I admitted thoughtfully.
-Forget it all., and think about this moment and tomorrow. – Taehyung told me before caressing my head.
I nodded before smiling at Taehyung. We stared at one another, and finally, smiles on our faces were the only visible thing.
