Unspoken Struggle

I'm disappointed!

For this time I'm disappointed!
  Somehow the words just came out of my mouth, I'm crying uncontrollably about my failure today.  I also wonder why I can be like this?  I want to destroy everything around me.  I am very reluctant to meet people who do not understand the meaning of a bitter failure.
  From there I thought that I was just a stupid human who never felt.  Maybe there are times when the human gets to a point where he has to be quiet, surrender, be sincere, and not judge it anymore!

"What is wrong with you?"  asked my best friend whose name is Lyra.

Then I burst into tears, and hugged Lyra tightly.

"Come on tell me, I hope I can help."

I also told everything while sobbing, "At that time I was competing in Athletics in Bandung, for some reason my heart was very uncomfortable, the fear suddenly caught me, I don't know why it was like this?  It's not usual for my heart to beat faster. "  I said while releasing a hug.

"Do you know why that fear arises?"  I shook my head weakly.

"It's possible that your mental match suddenly disappeared."  "What should I do then?"

"Keep practicing even harder, and often read books about motivation or watch videos on YouTube."

I smiled, "Fine, I'll do it."

Lyra and I started to enter the classroom and study as usual.

Lyra is my best friend the only one who most faithfully listens to my complaints, she always gives me motivation when I'm complaining.  I also took lessons from my failure today to become a reflection of the upcoming matches.

The afternoon arrived, I started training as usual.  I saw my friend Dara who won a gold medal in the Athletics match yesterday.  I smiled and nodded confidently that one day I will smile proudly with a gold medal wrapped around my neck.

I keep practicing with enthusiasm.  I don't care even if it hurts now, the most important thing is that later I have to succeed, and I also learn to enjoy the process.

Every step I took, sweat started to soak all over my body, I shed tears, "It feels so heavy, God.  Is this the so-called struggle ?! "  I complained to myself.