Adam in the Fate series

25

Adam: so, let me get this straight. Something happened - most likely Merlin's fault - and some servants switched bodies?

Ritsuka: Uhmm... Yeah. Can you help us keep people in control so chaos doesn't happen?

Adam: sure. My children are in trouble, it's only natural that I help.

(with Artoria and Artoria Lancer.)

Adam: so... Are you two alright?

Artoria(Lartoria): Uhmm... Yes. This brings back memories from my younger days, but I'm alright.

Lartoria(Artoria):...

Ritsuka: Artoria, is something wrong?

Lartoria(Artoria): *grabs her own chest* master... *cries tears of happiness* I have boobs now.

Adam: THAT'S what matters to you?

Lartoria(Artoria): this is wonderful! I can finally seduce Shirou as much as I want!

Artoria(Lartoria): Hey! My boobs are meant to seduce master, not Shirou!

Ritsuka: *blush* wait, what?!

Adam: kid, I think I'll leave these two to you.

Ritsuka: where are you going!? Aren't you going to help me?

Adam: I've seen enough sitcoms to know a father should never get involved in his children's love-life beyond giving them advice. My advice for you: don't test them.

(With Kiritsugu and Irisviel.)

Adam: so, you two switched, too, huh?

Kiritsugu(Irisviel): oh my! I can't believe I'm actually in Kiritsugu's body!

Irisviel(Kiritsugu): ... This is wrong. Just wrong.

Kiritsugu(Irisviel): okay, the first thing I'm going to do is clean up! I'm going to fix your hair and get rid of those dark circles under your eyes!

Irisviel(Kiritsugu): don't do anything weird to my body!

(With Jeanne and Jalter.)

Adam: how are you two doing?

Jalter(Jeanne): t-this isn't so bad, actually.

Jeanne(Jalter): speak for yourself! This is terrible! I look like a goodie-two-shoes!

Adam: you could be passed off as clones, honestly. What's the big deal?

Jeanne(Jalter): I don't like looking more like this holy maiden! What if people confused me for her!

Jalter(Jeanne): people do that all the time.

(with Romulus and Grand Lancer Romulus).

Romulus(Grand Lancer): Roma!

Romulus(normal): Roma!

Adam: ... I don't think these two even noticed.

(With Emiya and Muramasa).

Adam: and how are you two holding up?

Emiya(Muramasa): not bad. Doesn't feel all that different, actually.

Muramasa(Emiya): ...

Adam: Emiya, you doing okay? That is you in there, isn't it?

Muramasa(Emiya): ... Please kill me.

(With the 3 versions of Gilgamesh.)

Kid Gil(Gilgamesh Archer): I can't believe I'm stuck in the body of this naive child!

Gilgamesh Archer(Gilgamesh Caster): Ah, being so full of energy again is wonderful!

Gilgamesh Caster(Kid Gil): w-why do I feel so tired?

Adam: oh for the love of... Okay, Gilgamesh - teenager - don't do anything irrational. Kid or not, that's still your body. Gilgamesh - child - go get some sleep. Gilgamesh - adult - keep watch on these two while I get Enkidu to babysit you three.

(With BB and Parvati.)

Adam: are you two feeling anything weird?

Parvati(BB): nope! All good! We used the same host, after all!

BB(Parvati): Uhmm... Well, there is something.

Adam: what is it?

BB(Parvati): BB and I are supposed to use the same host, right? So why does her body feel a little... "curvier" than mine?

Adam: ... *Looks at BB*.

Parvati(BB): ... I uphold my right to remain silent.

(With Ana, Medusa, and Gorgon.)

Adam: alright, what's up with you three? I'm only asking because you're the only Greek goddess I don't actually hate.

Ana(Medusa): T-Thank you for your concern, Mr. Adam... I feel quite alright. This actually feels nostalgic to be a child again.

Medusa(Gorgon): I hate to say it, but I agree with my younger self. It feels... Nice to be in my body that was before Athena's curse.

Adam: what about you, Ana? Do you-

Gorgon(Ana): Ah! This is so annoying!

Adam: is something wrong?

Gorgon(Ana): Yes, something is wrong! My back hurts! These tits are too heavy! I don't know why girls keep complaining about wanting bigger boobs! They're a literal pain in the back!

Adam: .... I need a vacation.