"Hailey where do you see yourself in the next upcoming years" The lights flashed in my face. "what will you do if Tik Tok gets banned" the sound of cameras were going off. "Do you find interest in any of the sway boys like your sisters" Blinding lights. That's all I could see. There was no way out of them. Fans taking picture paparazzi swarming me. Was there ever going to be an end to this, I love fame but the flashing lights. They always get me. I feel like I'm in a bubble I can't escape, there is no escape. I can't take this.
Ignoring all the questions I walked to the Uber I had just ordered. I gave him my address and the ride was silent. "My daughter is a huge fan do you mind if I call her so you can say hi" He sounded so sincere. "Of course what's her name" I was so out of it. "Mays is her name" I smiled and took his ringing phone when a small girl answered and gasped. "It's Hailey" she squealed. I talked to her before she had to hang up. I tipped him and got out of the car as he thanked me.
I walk in to see Noah and Dixie cuddling. I smile not saying a word and running up to my room. The anxiety was getting to me. There was no way out. I took a small pill so that I could calm down, but my head was spinning. I drank some water and sat down on my bed. I was drowning and there was no one there to hold me. I look at myself in the mirror and begin to cry. I have always struggled with Anorexia, but in these recent days it's been getting worse. I was starving but I couldn't let myself eat. I wasn't ok, I haven't been ok. To let all of this pain out I write songs, so I can look back and I can see my emotions from the lyrics. I Sing them whenever I can, I don't really care if people hear me, I mean isn't that the point.
I sit on my bed and let my thoughts consume me writing away. This is what I came up with after hours of writing....
There was so much passion in all of my songs but this one, was one of my favorite. It was getting late and I was supposed to go out with friends tomorrow, but I can't pretend to be okay when I'm really not. I sigh and go to bed...
