story extra; park jisung

十一

"I want Taesa to think that I only talk to her, no one else. It makes me seem loyal, don't you think?"

"Ji," I sighed. "I wasn't going to hang out with you guys anymore anyways. But, doesn't that seem a little too obsessive?"

Ironically, his face lit up when I said I would no longer hang out with them. It made my stomach churn, making me realize I could no longer put up an act. My heart started beating faster, my eyes almost tearing up as I realized the truth: he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Not even as friends. Or acquaintances. Just strangers.

"It's not! What's so wrong about it?"

"I really think you should just be yourself when talking to her. If she doesn't like you for who you are, it's really not worth it."

"You're so cheesy," He scrunched his nose cutely.

"It's because it's true, Ji. If you really think you want to spend your whole life with her, and you put up some act only for her to notice you, she's going to figure out who you really are anyways and lose interest."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it."

"Ji, I don't think you do."

"You're just like the rest of them, you know that? I— I just really really really like her. So why won't you at least let me try to be with her?"

"You can try. I'm not stopping you, I'm just giving you advice."

Jisung sighed, "I just really really like her, Mira."

"I know, Ji. I'm tired of you reminding me that," I accidentally said.

"You all say the same thing, I don't understand."

"Ji," I slowly started saying. "We haven't talked in six months."

"Yeah, because you stopped reaching out."

"No. No, I think you got this all wrong Ji."

"What? It's true."

"Ji, ever since you've had this crush on Taesa, you've stopped talking to me. You stopped inviting me places and started inviting her to places. I mean, I know you like her, but do I really not mean that much to you anymore? You promised we'd be best friends until the day we die."

Jisung's cheeks puffed up, clearly showing how frustrated he was. He knew I was right.

"But, Taesa's your best friend now, right?"

"What? We-we're still best friends, Mira. I don't see why that has to change."

"Jisung, you haven't talked to me in six months. And when you did, it was just Taesa this, Taesa that. I'm tired of it, Jisung. I know I'm being selfish. I want to hang out with you, not Taesa," I said, finally taking this as a chance to let all my thoughts out. "You said it yourself, a week or two ago. You-you came over to my house, crying. Do you remember that? You must have. I-I know you do."

Maybe it was the pounding tension in my chest that made me start crying. Or maybe it was the fact that I had realized I lost my best friend of eighteen years to a random girl he had only known for six months. I never wanted to compare myself to anyone, ever. But Jisung always described her as if she were some goddess— as if she was the most perfect being in the world. She was smart, pretty, kind, you name it. I know I should practice what I preach, but it was so hard knowing the guy you had liked for nearly the entirety of your life liked some other girl.

"You-you said it yourself, Jisung. She's your best friend now. And I'm just her weird science partner, right? I have an attitude, and I talk trash behind people's backs. Because that's what I look like, right?"

"Wait, Mira—"

"It's okay, Ji. I know, you wanna seem cool and everything in front of her. You can say whatever you want about me in front of her to gain her approval. I don't care. Do what you want. We never officially cut off our friendship; I want to do it right now."

"Mira, you can't do this—"

"Goodbye, Jisung. I hope you and Taesa are happy now."

-

a/n im crying that was so dramatic LMAOOO