Love in Destiny's Game [OneShot]

Love in Destiny's Game

“Mahal ko siya pero kailangan kong umalis at lumayo.” aniya sa mababang tono.

Napayuko ako. Nakiramdam sa kalungkutang nararamdaman niya sa ngayon. Letting the one you love the most go, pushing her away from you will surely  hurt you big time, it will break you.

“Habang tinitingnan ko siyang umiiyak, begging me to stay, nasasaktan ako. Nadudurog ang puso ko. Hindi ko siya pwedeng lapitan eh, sabihan na huwag na siyang umiyak, na everything will be fine soon, na makakalimutan niya rin ako.” he continued as he drank the last drop of gin he has in his glass.

I can feel how broken he is. Sino nga ba naman ang hindi kung ang tanging dahilan sa kasiyahan niya ay itinulak niya palayo.

I sighed.
Liningon ko ang paligid at nakitang dumarami na ang tao. It's friday so as expected, people will be coming to relax after a week of being stressed with works— unlike us. We are here to talk about his pain, of how hurt and broken he is.

“I’m sorry for telling you this when I shouldn't...” he said apologetically. Bahagya itong umiling saka nag-angat ng tingin sa akin.

I smiled.
“I understand. Don't worry, it's okay.” I assured. In the first place, ako ang dahilan sa pagdurusa niya ngayon. Ako ang dahilan sa pag-iwan niya sa taong pinapangarap niyang makasama. “Mas okay narin na maging komportable kang sabihin sa akin ang nararamdaman mo. I will be your wife soon, I want you to be honest with me... kahit na minsan hindi ko maiwasang masaktan. Alam mo naman na mahal kita.” I said frankly. He nodded.

I didn't forced him to marry me nor even begged. We just found ourselves one morning in the same room naked. That was four months ago.

We even had an agreement that we shouldn't take it seriously into next level, that we should just forget it and pretend it didn't happened. Nakalimutan namin na when we did it, we haven't used any protection.

Even before that night, when we were still in college pursuing the same profession, alam na niyang mahal ko siya but he preferred being friends with me. Obviously, na-friend zone niya ako. Wala naman ‘yong kaso sa akin. I am the kind of person or woman na hindi ipinipilit ang sarili sa taong hindi ako kayang mahalin. What he can offer as an exchange sa nararamdaman ko, that's enough for me.

When I found out that I am pregnant, I was hesitant if I will tell it or will just keep it to myself. Alam ko naman kasi na masaya na siya sa babaeng mahal niya. Hindi ko gugustuhing mang-gulo just because buntis ako sa magiging anak niya. Kakayanin ko namang manganak at buhayin ang bata even without him.

Nagulat nalang ako isang araw nang bigla itong nagpakita sa bahay ko na galit. It was because I didn't tell him the truth about the baby, na buntis ako. He then told me that he will be marrying me. Syempre I didn't agree. Hindi ko gustong pakasalan niya ako dahil lang sa bata, we can both be parents to the child even without the need of marrying each other. We just need to meet half way lalo na kapag may sarili na siyang pamilya.

I thought he would agree with that pero hindi. He insisted to still do the necessary— to marry me.

Wala akong nagawa ng parehong magulang na namin ang nagplano. He did it para hindi na ako maka-angal.

“Then see you tomorrow. I’m sorry for today. Hayaan mo, I will be starting to forget and move on from her for you and to our child. Just give me enough time.” he said after giving me a kiss in the forehead. He drove me home after deciding na umuwi nalang kaysa makihalubilo sa mga taong nagsisimula ng maging wild sa bar, though that's normal. “You will be Mrs. Mauricio starting tomorrow, Melanie. This guy who rejected you many times will be your husband until then.” he added as he forced a cheerful smile.
Napangiti ako.
I almost forgot na ikakasal na nga pala kami bukas.

“Mama, what happened after that night from the bar? Did Papa ran away with the  woman before you— the woman he love the most?” our 8 year-old son asked.

Umiling ako at muling binalikan ang pangyayari ng gabing ‘yon. The pain was still here inside of me, na sa tuwing naaalala ko, hindi ko maiwasang malungkot at manghinayang— sisihin ang kapalaran.

I was about to go to bed when I received a call from an unknown number. I am not usually answering calls from unregistered number pero that night, I answered... and I was shocked. What the caller said broke me.

Gabriel got into a traffic accident while going home that night. The rescuer tried to save him by immediately bringing him to the nearest hospital pero dead on arrival na ito.

He was gone just before our wedding day. Hindi parin talaga siya hinayaan ng kapalaran na mapasaakin— kinuha parin siya sa akin palayo.

It was already 8 years ago pero yung sakit at panghihinayang nandito parin. Hindi ko parin siya makalimutan kahit na alam ko namang hindi niya ako mahal— pero kasi umasa ako sa mga salita niya. I even readied myself for those moments when he finally learnt to love me. We maybe a happy family today, if only our destiny let us to be.

Minsan, kahit pala nasa atin na, kung hindi laan para sa atin, mawawala parin. Magsisimula uli tayo ng panibago kung saan wala na ‘yong dating nakasanayan natin, leaving all those dreams behind.


☕