Why

Am i important

*Tsukki pov*

I ask this question all the time. Am I important. To be honest I don't believe I am. Most people don't care for my existence,they think I am just a mean piece of trash and can't stand to be around me. And some times they are correct but if they actually tries listening they would see that I'm am in pain and just want someone to hear me calling out for help but...no one ever does. It stated when I met Yamaguchi, he was like my saving grace or so I thought. Yea you may say I did not want to be his friend but I did. I was so happy someone want kind enough to to stick around and be there with me. But then he stop take to me, he stayed with me but it seemed like he was drifting away and that hurt. He was the only friend I really had and to top it off Akiteru lied. He lied to me and it hurt so damn bad but I thought I had Yamaguchi to talk to and help me thought it but....he wasn't. To him it was like no big deal but I felt like I had just died so slow and painful death and I was still feeling the pain. That's when I decided to build up my walls even more then they were. I pushed people farther away than ever. I felt that if no one cared about me why should I care about myself either. So here I am about to start in less than a week. Looking at my legs, razor blade in hand debating weather on not I care enough to to stop myself......... I don't... Each cut I make I criticize myself

Worthless

Unloved

Rude

Unkind

Waste of space

This continues for what to me seem like hours but in reality is just a few minutes. But I don't really care. After cleaning up the blood I look at my work. It's ugly and swollen but I'm proud. I wrap some cotton around my leg and put some sweat pants on and go bed. I know I will not get much sleep but I don't really care.

5 hours later

It's 3:00am and I'm still awake. Plagued by my thoughts. I decide that sitting in silence is worse than listening to music so I get up and grab my head phones from my desk and my iPod. I hit a random playlist not really wanting to listen to anything special. Avenually I am able to feel myself slipping in the dark abyss known as sleep listening to the song "it's ok". My last thought is "why do I care"