The world from her eyes

Prologue

Hot fumes of the tea raised from the styrofoam cup, fogging up her glasses. She took a whiff of the hot liquid before taking a sip of it and releasing a long breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Adu," she heard the familiar jingle of her sister's anklet as she turned around to make out a faint figure of a woman making her way towards her. "Are you okay?" Avantika asked her sister. Advaita just raised her teacup to her sister's eye level, a small smile creeping up her features, "As good as one can be."

Avantika shook her head at her sister's antics, "You have an unhealthy obsession, you know?" Advaita turned towards her sister fully before answering her, "Pretty much like your obsession of asking a lot of questions. Shall we go now?" She picked up her luggage, followed by Avantika and the sisters made their way out of the Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport.

"The cab should be here in ten minutes," Avantika announced and Advaita nodded without looking at her. Her gaze was focussed on the busy traffic of the road before them, some overhead billboards advertising the newest products launched in the market. It was so simple yet so simply devastating that Advaita's heart started thumping loudly against her chest. She knew that she was losing the fight, she had never put up one in the first place. The fear housed in her heart from years back wouldn't let her do so.

Avantika glanced at her sister and held her hand in hers to provide them with some warmth but she failed to realise that a moment of consolation could do nothing to melt the coldness engraved in her heart since she stepped into this new world of hers where everything was nothing but just a mere blur of the reality, literally.

"Are you sure about this, Adu?" Avantika finally found her voice to ask the question that had been bugging her incessantly since her sister first came up with the idea of returning.

"I can't keep running away Avantika, forever," she added shortly and Avantika initiated a futile attempt of calming her sister's shaking hands. The moment was broken by the soft tunes of Avantika's ringtone.

"Yeah, we will be there in a moment, " she cut the call and turned to her sister who had calmed down a bit by now. She informed her about the cab's arrival and once they had made sure that their luggage was placed securely in the car, they settled into it and Advaita spent the rest of her journey while looking outside the window, trying to collect her thoughts which were all but of a time she tried so desperately to forget about.

After about some three hours later, the cab pulled over in front of a two-storied bungalow which harboured the precious remembrances of the family which was now just a talk of the past. They got down and Advaita took some time to look at the house which at one point in her life was her happy bubble, forever ready to spread its caring arms around her to take away all her pain and sadness.

She was pulled out of her reverie by Avantika who ushered her inside the house where they were greeted by a man whose wrinkled countenance gave away the clear depiction of his old age.

"Kaka," Avantika addressed the old man as the two of them bowed down to touch his feet and seek his blessings. "How are you, my dear kids?" He asked as he ran his trembling hand on their heads and smiled when the sisters nodded in response.

"This house was awaiting your arrival for a very long time," he said in a cautious and feeble voice and this made Advaita go mum for a while as she ran her eyes on the flower beds they were surrounded by. The flowers were bright, colourful, and full of life. How ironic it was that they were sown in the soil which was still wet from the fallen tears of the residents of the house as a result of some inevitable and untimely separations.

"Thank you for looking after the house," Avantika said with a little bow of her head and the old man went away after giving them a small smile to give the two sisters some space, he thought, they were in dire need of.

"This will never become a home, our home. This will remain a house forever," Avantika heard her little sister's voice and a pained expression flashed on her face. She turned to look at Advaita who had started making her way towards the threshold of the house but she knocked into some pots, thereby alerting Avantika as she rushed to her side.

"Be careful," her voice reached octaves as she scolded her sister for being careless. Advaita just let out a wry laugh in response. It wasn't like she could do anything to set things right now, she was already partially blind.

"It is good this way, you know? This blurry world keeps me from dreaming about the colourful life which I will never have. Things will never be the same again, Avantika." Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she slid down to the ground and surrendered herself to her fate as the memories of the old times pierced daggers in her tired heart all over again.

"You are just in time for dinner. Come join us," Priya held the door wide open for her son to come in. Nimit smiled faintly at his mother before joining his family at the dining table. The clatter of the gleaming cutlery was the solitary sound reverberating in their ears. No words were spoken but a whirlwind of emotions was exchanged between their unwavering gazes on each other.

Priya couldn't help but stare at her son, so quiet yet fighting a great battle within himself. A faraway look in his eyes, words itching to leave the confines of his silence but always lagging miserably behind the veil of a forced cheerful face. She knew he was breaking and she, like any other mother wished to sew his broken pieces together, carve him into the mould of the lively son she knew and cherished from the former times but always failed before his obstinacy.

"How is the project work coming out?" He heard his father's authoritative voice and looked up from his untouched plate to give him a meek nod. Nimit knew that his father would not accept any mistake on his son's part, he knew it since he wasn't even capable of understanding it completely.

"I am going to my room," he stood up after flashing an apologetic smile to his mother. Priya tried to make him stay back but he had already travelled much farther into his world where nobody, not even his happiness had access to.

As soon as he stepped out in the balcony, he took a breath of relief and stared at the night sky, the darkness around him complimenting his heart's void perfectly.

He fished out his phone from his pocket and unlocked it to look at his smiling face, cradled comfortably in his mother's protective arms. The glimmer of the shining trophy held in the hands of his five-year-old self did not go unnoticed by him. The first prize of his life, he recalled.

"You still have that photo?" He turned around to look at his mother's surprised face and panicked a little. "He went to bed already," his mother answered his unasked question and he relaxed visibly.

"Coffee?" He nodded and she handed him the cup before pressing both her hands on the cold balcony railing.

"The photo is special," he said after some time and his mother turned to look at him with lots of emotions swirling in her eyes.

"What makes it special Nimit?" She wanted her answers from him to put a stop to the reckless chain of thoughts she entertained in her head every day.

He could not answer that question, his voice was too small to penetrate through the thick walls he built around himself, all in the efforts of providing himself with some desperate comfort.

Priya cupped his cheek, "It is the emotions connected with it which makes it special, a medium of reliving the old memories otherwise it is just a normal piece of paper capable of merely reminding you about those days. Don't limit your life to these photos, Nimit."

"It is not possible mom," he tore his gaze away from her hopeful eyes and resigned to his dark world once again.