the strawberry dress | harry styles

35: my hero

the next day was quiet. zayn yas saved my life though. we'd both been crying a lot and well it just wasn't a vibe. i kept saying sorry to my best friend who was so out of it because he had to get the pills out of my system on his own and watch me throw up and cry .

harry had been calling and texting but none of us had the energy to reply but the next day we woke up late and just ordered breakfast.
"im really sorry about yesterday" i said quietly.
"it's okay. im just glad you're still here"  he replied before my phone started ringing.

we knew we had to tell harry what happened.

"you should get something to eat. i'll deal with this" i said to my best friend.
"you sure?" he asked.
"eat. i love you"
"i love you more dumbass" he gave me a tight hug before going downstairs. i closed the door and sat on the bed and picked up the phone.

"maya thank god! is everything okay? you and zayn have been M.I.A. since yesterday"
"uh...something happened yesterday. and we've both not been feeling so good"
"what happened? are you both okay?"
"just please don't get angry" i said timidly.
"i'd never be angry at you baby. Whats up?"

tw graphic detail of suicide
Yesterday

"maya no!" zayn tried making me spit them out but it was too late. i sat on the floor quietly.
"what are you doing!?"
"waiting it out" i said quietly.
"wha...no. fuck no" he picked me up and carried me into the bathroom.
"zayn stop it" i begged as he put me on the counter.
"how the fuck do you stop an OD!?" he was freaking out.
"zayn im fine" i said.
"how many were in there!?"
"i don't know. ten?"
"TEN!?"
i got off the counter and tried leaving the room but zayn pulled me back.
"i cannot fucking let you die" he said to me.
"zayn stop it please! please stop!"
"no! im not going to lose my fucking best friend!" then suddenly my vision went blurry and i everything went black.

i woke up and suddenly i was throwing up in the toilet, two hands holding me and my hair tied back. When i finished i just started crying violently.
"youre okay" my best friend hugged me tightly and let me sob into his t shirt. "dont you ever think about leaving me again. i love you"
"w-why did you do that?" i sobbed.

flashback over

"oh my god" harry was crying.
"im sorry" i whispered. "im so sorry please dont be upset please im fine now i promise"
"please dont say sorry. im so sorry that happened...oh my god..." he didnt know what to say at all.
"i love you. i-im sorry i know this a lot we can talk about it when you get back"
"god ii think we should...just hold on. 16 days left okay? i'll be back. i love you so much"
"i love you too"

a few hours later zayn and i were sitting in the heath hanging out when he got a text.

Harry: Thank you for what you did yesterday. H.

i looked at my best friend who was smiling a the text. my hero.

"why does he alright write H?" i said.