The Cigarette

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LIZZYS POV

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Day 22

"Come here," He whispered as he opened the door a little wider for me to come in, "hurry." He says. I take one last look through the hallway to really make sure no one sees myself entering Johnny's room before I do so.

Johnny closes the door and honestly tries to do it as quiet as possible. He turns around and watches me sit down on the bed until I look back into his eyes. "Hi." He breathes.

"Hi." I answer and smile briefly. He comes to sit down beside me and his hand finds their way around my waist and down on my upper thigh. I turn to look him in the face and get nothing but his oh so beautiful smile as a respond.

I try to not show any emotion to that but fail and smile back. Damn it.

"Are you alright?" Johnny asks in his low raspy voice. His eyes almost sparkle as he's watching me with the cutest doe eyed look I've seen in my life. I could cry. There's so much to be amazed by when looking at him. "Why wouldn't I be?" I ask back as if it was obvious (after I felt like speaking again).

"I don't know.. I only had such feeling." He shrugs and softly pushes a couple strands of my blonde hair out of my face. "Whatever," I sigh in an octave that's like a hundred under my usual, which surprised even me, and look the other way.

"Now I definitely know something's wrong! What is it?". There's concern in his eyes which I find really cute because I've barely done anything and still he reacts like it's huge stuff.

"Nothing." I exhale and mentally beat myself for acting this way. I'm sorry I feel like having to get attention but at the same time I hate myself for believing that.

"Then why did your voice go like this?" Johnny asks once more with his voice going just as low as I did, trying to mimic me.

"You like it that way, don't you. Just like you're all for tough girls." I say and look down to my lap as I'm pulling on the strand of my red skirt. He's gonna be so pissed.

It's silent for a moment and I'm sure he's taking all he got to try understand what the hell I'm talking about. Even I don't know. I'm not even sure what I want from the conversation we just have. But just as I was about to open my mouth to think of a probably super stupid explanation and excuse for my behavior Johnny sighed deeply, asking if I was talking about yesterday's movie.

"Please just forget about it, it was stupid of me bringing that up!" I cry and shake my head wildly. Now Johnny takes both my small hands in his bigger one's and waits for me to- to what? Say something? Do something?

I eventually lift my sight which turned out to be exactly what he was waiting for, "did I offend you in any kind of way with what I said yesterday?".

"No. No of course you didn't!" I assure him. "It just got me into thoughts. If I fit into your preferences.. of girls.". I wanna bury myself. Literally. Now that I spoke and actually formed the words that swapped through my mind I felt so stupid.

"Don't say that. I don't have any preferences of girls that I'd like to date. I've been together with different types of women and there's no such thing as a bias for me." Johnny calmly explains and rubs his thumb over the back of my hand. "You're good just the way you are. Amazing, sweet and breathtakingly beautiful in all kind of ways!" He smiles.

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