really big elephants

from the kid who broke your heart.

I'm the person people write "ten word stories about", the person your friends will have their doubts about, will say "I told you so" about. But every story has two sides and ours is no different,even though you want to hear mine about as much as a man wishes to watch pant dry because after endless tears, and rants with your best friend in your big beautiful mind- Im now a monster. Please understand, I meant every word I said. Please know that I meant to make you the happiest person alive, but because I was so nieve and understood so little about myself & the desires of this ball that supplies blood to my veins that my intentions, my promises were undelieverable.

The day I told you I loved you was a week after you thought about leaving. I meant to make the slow plea of "please stay" but my lips slipped up and an "I love you" came out instead and when I saw the look in your eyes, gosh how I wanted to take it back, I knew it wasn't true but it made you smile, so I didn't care to explain. I only wanted you happy. Please understand, I was and always will be a mess, full of temper and rage something short of a hurricane in walking form, and you were nothing but my favorite field to frolic in. I long to apologize for what I did, your empty expression haunts the shadows of my mind. However I can't, I won't. As much as I desire you, I deserve you as much as man deserves salvation, and I refuse to plant flowers in you again just for them to turn into weeds. Just please know, I mostly dream of you, and hope you're happy.