To Remember

6

I felt my knees give out and I dropped to the floor.

"Whoa Thomas." Newt said as he tried to catch me.

My breathing got heavy. I felt anger and sadness all in one. I didn't know if I was upset because she died before I could tell her off for what she did. Or because I couldn't tell her how I felt after all these years. I wasn't sure if I was believing what I was hearing, I was feeling so overwhelmed that I couldn't process it.

"Thomas?" I heard Brenda's voice snap me out of my state of mind.

I quickly look over at her. She gave me a pitiful look. I knew I must've looked as insane as I felt.

"What happened?" I asked no one in particular as I looked back at her name.

"Tommy... I don't know if we should get into that right now." Newt said carefully.

Why not? I asked myself. She's dead. Something must've happened. Maybe I couldn't handle what happened or if I can even process the fact that she's gone.

I slowly bring myself up with the help of Newt. Brenda did say earlier that she wasn't here, I guess this definitely proves it.

I decided right there and then to regain my composure. Teresa was gone and that's that, I can't change what I can't control. It wasn't fair that I was acting this way when my friends have lost genuinely good people, who didn't deserve to die. Teresa did not fit in that category.

"Fine." I told them as I looked one last time at her name. "If you guys don't think I can handle that right now I understand."

"Hey man we get it. She was important to you." Minho surprisingly spoke up.

No one really said anything to back him up but that doesn't mean he was wrong. She was at one point in my life important to me. My mind started to play some memories I had forgotten about. Teresa and I growing up together in Wicked, having fun and running around as kids not caring about what we're doing. Conspiring and running away from the only place we knew. A kiss. On the mountains at the camp. Now I know for sure that my mind was making up scenarios to fill the void of hurt.

"Look Tommy you've had to deal with a lot recently. Let's get you some rest and we can answer all your questions tomorrow." Newt said kindly.

"I just woke up from a coma. I honestly think rest is at the bottom of my priorities." I shot back.

I didn't mean to sound harsh but I just wanted answer and I don't know why they couldn't give it to me. My friends all looked at each other, a look I couldn't decipher. After a few glances and seconds of silence Brenda spoke up.

"Let's get you back to your place and then tomorrow we can start filling you in more. Okay?"

"Sure." I sighed.

"You really should get some rest Thomas." Minho told me. "You've got forever now to ask all your questions."

I gave him a nod. He gave me a smile. I looked over at Newt and he gave me a hug. I hugged him back and looked at everyone else.

"Thank you for everything. I will see you guys tomorrow."

We said our goodbyes and Brenda walked with me back to my new home. The walk was quiet mostly because I just didn't feel like talking anymore and she knew that. Brenda carried a small lantern to light up the path which also made her visible in the night. On her arm I saw that she has a scar that with time it seems to have healed. I remembered that she was attacked by a crank years ago. I never thought there would come a time where we would walk peacefully and not be running from or towards something.