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i can see you're having fun i'm happy for you if only i were the one you were having fun with.
i'm sorry that my mind is a barrier between me and the goal which is nothing more than a dream. im glad you haven't yet learned that dreams may never come true
i wish this wasn't sad, i promise. you're laughing, you're happy, you're everything i want to be. but something about it makes me so goddamn upset.
nostalgia makes me more sad than happy. especially when i'm getting nostalgia for events that i myself have never experienced.
maybe it's jealousy. maybe it's the fact that the barrier keeps getting knocked down only for it to be built back up again thicker, and repeat. perhaps it's more i want to be you than i want to be myself. i'm glad you don't know what jealousy means. i'm glad you don't remember.
it's not your fault i hate nostalgia, it's not your fault that it occurs. it's not your fault that i want to be you. it's not your fault that you don't remember. i hate that you'll never consider that it is.
