After All These Years (Iwaoi)

Was it Worth it?

Finally done. Finally done with all the paperwork and all the patients and all the... thinking. He was done. Hajime Iwaizumi wasn't getting fired for being tardy. He wasn't going to be late getting anywhere. He had time. For once on this sunny Friday afternoon, Iwaizumi had all the time in the world.

As he stepped out of his office into the fresh air, the only thought he had was him. Tooru. He loved sunny days. He loved Friday nights, he loved pepperoni pizza, he loved his nephew, he loved the smell of peppermint when he wasn't feeling well, he loved to lay on the beach and soak in the sun, but most of all he loved his Iwa-chan.

Why was Iwaizumi suddenly getting so sentimental? It had been 10 years and he had lived without Oikawa, why start longing for him now? But the truth was, he did long for Oikawa. Almost everyday. Iwaizumi hadn't dated in a long time. He had been with a few girls and a couple of guys but none in the past two years. Nothing had lasted more than a few months. Nothing lasted like his love for Tooru Oikawa.

Now stopping at Tokyo Central Station.

He stepped onto the train.

Now leaving from Tokyo Central Station.

He put in his earbuds to tune out the sounds of the clacking train tracks.

"Line Without a Hook" by Ricky Montgomery.

That's what he felt like. Like a piece of him was missing. After their fight, Oikawa hadn't reached out at all. It seemed as if he was taking the last words Iwaizumi had said to him very clearly. I never want to see your face again. He hadn't meant it. He was just upset and he said things he regretted. That was all. He was a dumb 23 year old too wrapped up in University. But Oikawa had blocked his number. Oikawa had deleted his social media linking him to Iwaizumi in the slightest. As far as he knew, Oikawa had disappeared off the face of the earth.

Iwaizumi stepped of the train. The doors closed. He stepped forward one foot at a time. Life was beginning to merge into one repetitive story.

Was it worth it?

Was it worth the outcome dating all those years ago? Maybe if they had waited until after college, until they were more mature... Or at least until Iwaizumi had started his career as a trainer. Or maybe....

But "maybe" is a dangerous game to play.

He walked under the cherry blossom tree in the park. He walked by the children playing with a ball in the alley. He walked across the street from the snack market that had Oikawa's favorite food in the world. Milk bread. Iwaizumi couldn't even bring himself to think about eating it without Tooru there. Part of him felt like it was wrong.

As he stepped onto the porch of his house he opened the mailbox assuming it was all junk anyways. No one ever sent Hajime Iwaizumi letters, no one but Tooru Oikawa. But that was ages ago.

"I'm home!" He laughed a sad chuckle as his dog Aki trotted up to him. "You need me right Aki-chan?" He sighed and pat the dog's ears.

4:15 pm. Not time for dinner. Not really time for anything really. Time seemed to be the theme of the day.

"Let's go for a walk. How does that sound?" Aki's ears perked up and he tapped his feet on the floor happily. Hajime stood up and retrieved the leash from the front coat rack.

Ah. Why so much junk mail? Iwaizumi picked up the stack of envelopes and clipped the leash to his overly excited golden retriever.

He stepped outside. Warm sunshine illuminated his face. Iwaizumi smirked. Oikawa would be going on and on about how he would get a sunburn on his handsome face. Or how Iwaizumi should put the mail away and enjoy the nice day out. But Oikawa wasn't here, so he started to walk and shuffled through his small pile of mail.

Bills... solicitor.... more bills... what?  Iwaizumi continued walking, slowing his pace, but paused sorting through his mail. A small white envelope with a beautiful red seal enclosing the contents. On the intricate seal was small engraving of two hands fist bumping. Iwaizumi flipped the envelope over and read the delivery information. 

To: Hajime Iwaizumi

From: Tooru Oikawa