platonic crush // dwt

IX

Yᴜ̄ɢᴇɴ (ɴ) -ᴀɴ ᴀᴡᴀʀᴇɴᴇss ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀs ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ʀᴇsᴘᴏɴsᴇs ᴛᴏᴏ ᴅᴇᴇᴘ ғᴏʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅs

Trigger warnings:
-panic attack
-talk of rape

Vote <3

Clay's POV:

We stayed in that position for what felt like hours, and when I finally looked at her, she was fast asleep.

When I got home from Ava's those few nights ago, I had realized that I had missed a call from her.

It was partially my fault. If I was there for her that night, I could've helped. I could've talked to Tyler.

Her eyes still closed, Ava turned over on her side.

I picked up my phone and decided to scroll through tiktok before she woke up.

Time skip because I'm lazy

After about 20 minutes of me scrolling, she moved a bit.

She was muttering something under her breath.

"...Ava?"

"No. No. Get away get away from me"

I put my phone down and retracted a bit.

She wrestled me away, her eyes still closed.

"Let go! No, no, stop. Let go of me. Please. Please."

"Hey, Ava, wake up," I said, shaking her.

Her eyes slammed open, wide and scared.

She noticed where she was, and moved away from me as soon as she did. I tried to reach for her hand, but her whole body flinched.

She started shaking, her eyes on the wall.

I didn't know what I could do without scaring her, so I sat beside her, racking my brain for an idea.

Ava POV

My chest was burning and my throat was stinging from sobs.

I was trying to get a hold of my body, but the thoughts had taken over completely, leaving me gasping for air.

I didn't even completely understand why I was getting so upset.

It was done.

It was over with.

Yet I couldn't seem to fathom that.

Because it played over and over.

Every waking moment.

It flashed in my eyes.

His beard, the blaring of the music, the creaking of the bed.

Unfamiliar smells, sounds, thoughts, coursed through my mind.

Reminding me of that night.

I hated being like this, especially in front of Clay, yet I physically couldn't turn to look at him.

Too caught up in my thoughts, too entranced by the memories, I stopped breathing.

Not for long, and not on purpose.
I just... forgot to.

I felt like I was gonna puke.

Static mixed with a high pitched tone drowned out anything I might've heard otherwise.

I felt a warm hand on my back, reminding me to breathe.

I sucked in a deep breath and my vision came back.

His hand started rubbing my back, relaxing it, and the sounds stopped.

"Ava."
"You're okay."
"I'm here with you."
"You're safe."

I leaned backwards, Clay's arms capturing me and pulling me into his chest.

Tears were still streaming down my face.
I was still shaking.
My heart was still beating wildly.
But I was safe. I knew I was safe.

Clay's hands running through my tangled hair, his soothing words, the faint feeling of his breath on my forehead.

Fuck

Word count: 518

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