Broken (Shuhua)

part 3

Shuhua pov
I can't believe it been a week since I started to go on diet. It been getting harder to skip meals as im known as the Biggest eater in the group the member would repeatedly ask me if I'm okay. And as usual my answer would be im fine. I have started to keep entry of the amount of food I intake a day in my dairy and can't help but felt disappointed as it still too much .
Shuhua, I can't help but notice u been gaining weight and at the same time lacking during practice. At this rate u gonna be dragging the rest of ur team down , u get it ? manager oppa say
I just mumble I'm sorry in response
Manager oppa then say anyway since the group is having break I was thinking of putting u on a stricter diet as well as arranging more dance and vocal session how do u think about it?
I thought about it and say sure after all he was right I was dragging the team down this is the only thing I could do for the team
Time skip-at night
I was in my room after faking an excuse from dinner saying I have already eaten before returning back to the dorm . Luckily the member didn't question me as they all just say rest well.
As usual I decided to scroll through Instagram hoping to see positive comment but instead all I see it
Go kill ur self
Ur so stupid like srsly minnie and yuqi are foreigners too but yet they are able to speak Korean fluently and u tsk
Ur disgusting stop clingy onto soojin
Leave the group u worthless bitch
As I continue reading the comment I didn't even realise that tears were dropping from my eyes . As I close my eyes I started thinking about how much of a burden I am even manager oppa think so too I can't help but think even the members secretly feel that too.
"Why can't u do anything right"
"Stop clingy onto me, it so annoying"
"Shuhua ya, u need to grow up u are no longer a baby "
"Stop being childish"
As I continue sobbing in pain thinking about all the hate I receive , I heard a knock on my door
Shuhua, are u okay I heard some noise
I heard soojin unnie ask I immediately quiet down pretending to sleep hoping she would nt realise I was crying. To my relief she  left but this make me hurt as it make me realize no one really care about me. Well who would want to be friends with me anyway I just a burden.. I thought as I slowly doze off due to the exhaustion of crying